John's Blog

Church, jokes, and fast food

2005-01-23T20:04:00.000-08:00

Most of the stuff today is about Adam, since his actions were a little more memorable. Other days will be about the other two. One quick note first, though. As I was sitting here talking with Shelly tonight, it hit me that we have been home only 5 months, and our children are behaving sooo well. They were little monsters when we brought them home, but now they are just like your average well-behaved child -- just a few problems now and then. It is clear to me that paying attention to the Bible when raising children has wonderful benefits.

At church today, Adam begged my sister for some gum. While this is admittedly better than begging strangers, we apparently still need to make it clear that he only has 2 parents. So, we had a little talk, "people at church are not your parents, so do not ask them for things. If you want something, ask Mama and Papa. If somebody asks you if you want something, that is much better." He accepted that without any noticeable problem. (Good boy!)

After church this evening, Adam was talking with a few adults, who were asking him what different animals sounded like. They told me that he was doing an exellent job. (This isn't really surprising to me -- Adam LOVES making noises!) Before we left, one man told Adam a joke. "How do you catch a rabbit? ... You hid behind a bush and make a noise like a carrot!" Adam busted up! (This might not seem blog-worthy, but it is the first American joke that Adam has understood and laughed at!)

On our way home after church, everyone was hungry. Then, Adam had another first. He said, "McDonalds, please." I wasn't really sure if that was a good idea yet, and wanted to talk with Shelly first. (Kinda late and stuff.) So, Adam and Liana proceeded to try to convince me that it was a good idea. They listed the good food that McDonalds has, and described the fun play place, and told me that they would be good, etc. -- They are clearly turning into American children. (We did go, btw. :o) )

Well, would you look at that! Two posts in two days! I'm on a roll!

Another blog entry! Woohoo!

2005-01-22T13:07:00.000-08:00

Last night I told Shelly that I'd think up something to say today, so here it is! *checks to see how many people fainted* I think I'll try to post 2 or 3 times a week, and maybe Shelly and I can toggle our blogs since she is wanting to blog a bit less. We'll see what happens.

Aleksa has surprised us several nights at supper recently. She has eaten more than I do a few times. We figured out what's going on though, since she grew more than an inch in the last month! (vertically, not horizontally :oP )

Last night, we got about 10 inches of snow. So after we went to the library today, I grabbed a bucket and showed them how to build things by packing the snow and piling the "bricks". The thought that was cool, but the initial actions were to destroy my bricks rather than build their own...

At the library, Shelly and I grabbed the stuff we planned to get, just like normal. (We've been going every Saturday for about 4 weeks now.) But, this is the first time that the children ran around hunting for books they wanted themselves. We came back with a stack of about 12 books! *insert beaming smiley here*

Well, that should be enough for now. Stay tuned, since I sorta plan to blog again in the next few days...

Approaching normalcy?

2004-08-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

Shelly mentioned that I hadn't blogged for a while, and she's right! Coincidentally, she tried to blog this morning, but something funny happened and she lost what she had written before it was blogged. So, she thinks it's my turn to blog about yesterday. :o)

One of two things has been happening (probably some of both): 1) The children are getting used to things and situations are calming down and approaching the sort of arrangement that Shelly and I expected when we thought of having children. and/or 2) Shelly and I are getting used to the way things are, and finding that it's pretty good most of the time.

So, what happened yesterday? Breakfast; part of a video (Adam continually asks to watch TV); a visit from Grandma, Auntie Cara, cousing Glen, as well as the new faces of cousin Jessie, her husband Chris, and their daughter Audrey. Chris and Jessie brought some clothes for the kids, and Adam got upset that there weren't any toys. He ended up sulking in his room for a while, but then we brought him out and he improved after a bit.

They mentioned a trip to Granddad's Bluff, and asked if we wanted to take the kids there, too. Shelly and I hemmed and hawed and thought about it for a while. We weren't sure what to do. Eventually, I thought that it might be good to get them excited outside of the house, so that they would be less stimulated inside the house. I'm not sure if that's a good line of reasoning, but we did go, and they enjoyed it -- without any bad behavior!

Yesterday was one of those days that looks like it will rain any second, but it doesn't. A few times, the kids asked to go outside, and we thought, "No, it's too hard to get you back inside, and we know it's going to rain soon." But, it kept not raining, so we took them outside after supper. Aleksa was cold right away, and Liana got a little chilled after a while. So, they ended up running inside for their little personal blankets. At that point, I decided it was time to go back inside (and that we're visitting a good will store today for some fall coats, since the "baby" shower isn't until Friday night). I was right, Adam and Liana didn't come in right away when I was sure that they knew what I was telling them. So, I chased them down and carried them into the house, then gave them a little scolding. It was really cool though, they were both sorry right away, without me having to figure out whether to put them in a corner. We are certainly making progress!

We ended the day by finishing up one of the videos Adam had been watching. I had to do a little computer work, but came out about 20 minutes before it was their bed time. Then, we all laid on the couch/floor and snuggled together while we watched. It was a great to a good day.

Oh! One other thing. I'm not sure what the kids are thinking exactly (particularly Liana), but they like to make lots of noise when they see Shelly and I kiss. Liana decided that she would try to kiss me on the lips, too. But, that would blur some of the relationship lines that we are trying to make clear to the children. Also, we've noticed that Liana is doing things that can easily be understood as attempts to rule the house. Letting her be equal with Mama would not be good. So, I kept turning my head and telling her, "Only Mama, not Liana." It was a fun game for a while, then she switched to telling me that she didn't love me, then she'd be normal for a while, then she'd try kissing me on the lips later. That happened 2 or 3 times, and one of the last times, Mama came and kissed me during the episode. Adam joined in by holding our heads together and sort of hugging us. It was a rather memorable and fun moment, with the kids yelling and giggling about us kissing. (BTW, it is clear that Liana's, "I don't love you" comments are about as far from the truth as possible. Once they've had time to really feel out the relationship arrangements, I doubt we'll hear that anymore. I'm also pretty sure that she has realized that such a statement won't help her, since the biggest reaction I gave her was to smile and say that I knew that she did love me.)

Anyway, that's my first blog in a while. Hope you enjoyed it!

We're official

2004-08-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

Court went very well today. Shelly cried tears of joy while we listened to the judge tell us that we were approved and that the 30-day waiting period was waved. I just grinned big, like I tend to do when things are going very well. :OD

After that, we headed to the children's birth place, which is about a 3 hour drive, one way. We waited around for quite a while, and Shelly enjoyed a "talk" with our favorite taxi driver. Eventually, we went in and signed some papers and came out with the children's new birth certificates! Woohoo!

We just got back from that trip (it's 9:30 now), and are trying to set up a flight back home Tuesday or Wednesday next week. However, we aren't sure what flights are available, and it may not be until Thursday. (This could be a very tough week!)

This Friday, we plan to take the children to the official doctor's apointment that is needed before we can leave. Then on Monday, we will go to the U.S. Embassy and get the visas, etc (which we can't pick up until 3:00pm). Once that is complete, the leftovers can be handled by mail if it isn't already settled. So, the sooner we can get home, the better. (Hopefully, we can get a good flight arranged. Please pray that it is sooner rather than later!)

The only bad thing about today is that we weren't able to see the children at all. We will have to wait until tomorrow to tell them the good news. (But we did tell them yesterday about the plans for today.)

I don't know when we will be able to blog next, because we are definitely not going to be back here tomorrow night. Please pray hard until we are home! Having the children 24 hours a day in a place that is strange to all of us is going to be difficult in many ways.

Love,
John, Shelly, Adam, Liana, and Aleksa

Exciting day!

2004-08-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

Well, today was an exciting day! We bought clothes for the kids (shirts, shorts/slacks, socks, underwear). Also, we grabbed a hat for Adam, since he'd asked for one several times. Then, we bought some extremely delicious popsickles. One went to our wonderful taxi driver, who also took us through the market maze in our hunt for clothing. Then all of us had our popsickles, except Adam. I guess he was being punished for something, since he was sitting by himself in a chair and in a sullen mood. We couldn't take him right away because of whatever was going on. When we finally could take him, he was saying that he didn't want to come. But, when we handed him the food and melted popsickle, he warmed up quickly.

They loved their clothes. We have not seen bigger grins on their faces, and a little bit of hopping around took place, too! (Happy birthday, Aleksa!)

This afternoon, between visits, Vica called us. We were nervously excited, and then she told us what we wanted to hear!! Yippee! She's on a train right now, coming to Odessa, where the taxi driver will pick her up at 5:00 am tomorrow. They will get here a little while later, and our court appearance will be at 9:00! Woohoo! (Do I sound excited enough?)

When we got to the orphanage tonight, our children were in one of the musical thingies that we weren't allowed to interrupt before. But, I walked past the door, and saw Adam in his new shirt. He was one of the only children facing my direction, and he saw me. Shortly after that, I heard some noises and the word "Papa". In a little bit, they all came running out to see me. It was great to know that they got out as fast as they could, rather than waiting until the whatever-it-was was over. :oD

I tried to tell Adam about the court thing when we first found them, and I think he understood a little. About a minute later, he asked if we could (or when we would) go for a car ride. I tried to tell him that maybe in 2 or 3 days. While I'm not sure that he understood me exactly, his smile made me think that the message of "soon" came across well.

A translator for another couple agreed to explain about the court meeting to the children, since we might not be with them tomorrow because of this. Aleksa looked completely indifferent, probably because she didn't have a clue anyway. Liana was hard for me to read. It could have been a little fear, since she hasn't been on a train or anything like that before. But, she also could have just been trying to figure out what it all meant. The highlight, though, was Adam's face. He was beaming, and we could tell that this was VERY good news to him. That just sort of topped off the whole day. :o) We played around for a while after that, then had to leave. It was a pleasant parting, and we waved as we drove away. We blew kisses (Aleksa particularly likes that.) Aleksa trailed behind the other two, and grinned big as I kept waving and waving while we drove away.

Words, pictures, and socks

2004-08-09T21:28:00.000-07:00

Today was relatively "normal". The kids seemed happy for us to be there, misbehaved a little, but were happy we were there. Adam came running to us this morning too, so we felt much better after what happened last night.

I was both pleased and bothered tonight about some of Adam's actions. It appears that he is a normal 9 year old, wanting things to play with and to hold his attention. So, he will occasionally wander away from us (against our instructions) to play with some other adopting couple and their children (differen toys). One of those was a book of English words and pictures (boy, girl, mother, father, ball, cat, hand, face, etc.) I sat with him a read the words for a few minutes, and then had to give the book back. When I tried to do that, Adam clung to the book, and I really had to pull it from his hands. We then started carrying the children back to "our spot". Once Adam knew that he was going, whether he wanted to or not, he started running/skipping over there. I sat down and tried to draw some pictures and write the words for them, but that just didn't seem to cut it. Liana was interested in that, though. She would point at something on the quick point card, ask me what it was, then write a little squiggle on some paper. It was cute, but I know that the squiggles were not actually anything readable in Russian, Ukranian, or English (though it could have been shorthand ;oP )

Aleksa took me for a tour around the outside of the building this afternoon, and Liana wanted to go along for the ride. It was rather fun, but I have no clue what Aleksa was trying to say to me.

The other adopting couple, that I mentioned above, left after a while, and their kids came over to ask for some balloons. Adam really likes giving balloons to the other kids, which I think is a good thing, but I would really like to know why he does it, too. Anyway, I became a human pump after a bit. These balloons are next to impossible to blow up by mouth, though you can do it with a little hand-work added in. So, the kids would hold the open end of the balloon to me, then suck on the other end. This would result in the balloon sort of expanding inside their mouths, then extending out a little ways. They really got a kick out of this, so I ended up doing that for a while. (The bad part was that they obviously didn't care about spreading germs, so I really hope that I don't catch anything from this!) Also, while I was doing this, the two other children were calling me "Papa". I told them that I was "Mister", not "Papa". They understood that after I said it two or three times. I also made sure to blow up Adam and Liana's balloons first, even if these other children had been asking for just a bit longer. I'm not sure, but I think this had the desired effect of reinforcing our children's belief that they are more special to Shelly and I than any of the other children. (I also think that our kids get along better with these other two, because they all know that they have their own Mama and Papa already and aren't trying to steal us away.)

I know this is a slightly shorter blog than normal, but I can't really think of anything else to say right now. We'll be buying some clothes before we go to visit the children tomorrow morning, so that will give me something to talk about tomorrow for sure. (Oh! Liana asked for some socks tonight, and eventually got it across to me that I should give her my socks like I had done or Adam a couple days ago. So, I took them off (sweaty and all) and gave them to her. She tried putting them on, found out they were way too big, then came over and stuffed them in the leg pocket of my shorts while I was busy doing something with Adam or Aleksa. It was cute.)

Papa holding Liana

Adam's Turn

2004-08-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

I don't really know where to start today. Overall, I think the day was pretty good. But, it was also a mixed bag. There were some encouraging signs as well as some discouraging things.

This morning, Adam didn't want to ask for his orange, so we didn't give it to him. Eventually (15 minutes later or so), he asked for it, and we gave it to him along with some kisses and hugs. I'm not sure what was up, but that's what happened.

Liana was one that had us most concerned before, but today, things have sort of flipped. Aleksa has been pretty much the same -- trying to do what she wants and getting upset if we don't let her, and Liana helped to keep her in line. Shelly blogged a little about that. But, tonight, Adam ran out the orphanage gate and wouldn't stop as I shouted to him. So, I ran out to him, and scolded him as I carried him back. This morning, I had taken an old battery from him, not really understanding what was going on. This afternoon, he apparently wanted it back, but I had left it in our room. Maybe that's what spawned this. On the other hand, we pulled out the little "quick point" card that people can use for communication while travelling, and he and I sat and looked at it together for several minutes. We also played with some new toys that we had brought. Things seemed good for a while, then he started wandering or running away. After the second incident, I picked him up and sat him on my lap and didn't let him get away (but he didn't try as hard as he could have). Then we had a repeat of my previous argument with Liana. "I'm your Papa, I love you." "No" "Yes I am" "No", etc. Maybe I'm not reading him just right, but the manner in which he did this makes me *suspect* that he was purposefully re-enacting what he saw between Liana and I. After that, Liana has pretty much clung to me and asked me to hold her whenever possible. I'm hoping that something similar takes place with Adam. (I'll make sure to bring his battery back tomorrow. We had to change batteries in the camera, and he saw that. Maybe that was part of the problem.) It is also interesting to note that Liana was especially good and cheerful while Adam was going through his little bit.

When we had to leave, we got in the taxi, and waved and blew kisses. Aleksa and Liana were both grinning, but I'm not sure what Adama was doing because his head wasn't turned toward us. It seemed that the evening ended well enough between us, but I will be much happier if he is excited to see us when we come tomorrow.

Again, I think that some of our adventures are becoming less adoption-only adventures and more like traditional parent-child adventures. If the last few days are enough time to establish a precedent, this little incident with Adam will end up being a good thing. We keep praying that this will be the case. Thank you for your prayers!

I also can't help but thinking of this verse every couple of days, particularly when I'm in either a very positive or a somewhat distraught mood: Psalm 127:3a and 5a, "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord ... How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;" While it seems that this is normally considered a comment on the value of children, it also gives me a little encouragement like a promise. Since children are a treasure, and we do plan to raise them to glorify God, we can fully expect that whatever problems arise will be handled and that the children will turn out to be wonderful in God's sight and our own.

Adam and Papa

Good day

2004-08-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. Lots of interesting little things happened. But the start of the day was less than pleasing. We got there early (10:15), because of our trip to the toy store, and our children were in a room watching some skits until 11:00. Then, they went to their group room and ate before coming out. I poked my head into each of those rooms, and one of our children saw me each time, but they didn't come. At first, that struck me as not so good, but then I thought a little harder and decided it was good, since it shows that they definitely understand obedience when they know what they should be doing and when. (Or it could mean that they like skits and food better than Mama and Papa, but it's too early to care about that, yet.)

This morning, Shelly and I took off early in order to pick up some toys for the kids. (A little boredom during this bonding period didn't sound like the best idea, and at least Adam had shown signs of some boredom.) Our faithful taxi driver took us to a toy store of her choosing, knowing that we at least wanted to get a ball. We picked up a ball that closely resembles a basketball for Adam, but the printing on it makes it something else. For the two girls we got simple rubber balls. We also picked up what looked like a clear backpack with a whole bunch of stuff in it -- paddle ball, some interesting lacrosse-type catching tools and some balls, along with a frizbee, a boomerang, and two other things that work like a frizbee or boomerang. The backpack and things in it were not given to them today, since we're trying to stretch out the timing. But, we gave them the balls, and then this afternoon, we gave them two little "guns" that allow you to twist on a helicopter blade, then shoot it into the air. When we pulled those out, Adam and Liana went nuts. The loved them, even though they couldn't get quite enough twist out of them to go as high as Papa could get it. (For a change, Liana actually asked me to help her with it, too. With almost everything, she pulls away from Mama or Papa when we offer to help her with something. At first, this scared me a little, but it seems to be a normal child's desire to do things fo themselves. We can certainly deal with that, and train her not to go overboard with it.)

Adam and I kicked the ball back and forth for a while today, which was great fun. Liana accidentally shot one of the helicopter blades onto the roof of the little guard house next to the gate we were playing near. So, Papa went around to the other side, climbed up onto the fence, then through a tree, and snatched the propeller from the edge of the roof. Liana enjoyed watching that! I tried to teach Adama how to kick a ball better, but the language thing was still in the way, and he didn't seem to really want to do it differently.

Oh. Before I forget. Adam's new shoes are definitely treasured by him, but they have bands that wrap around his ankles. His previous shoes were simple slip-on sandals, so they didn't have that band. Now, he is getting a serious blister on the foot that he wounded last night. We put a bandaid on it, and he tried to ask us something. Eventually, we discovered that he wanted socks. So, on the spur of the moment, I took off my socks and gave them to him. He put it on, and it was a little baggy, but not too bad to wear. He ran around that way for the rest of the time that we were there.

Aleksa seems to have had a rough night tonight. While not tremendously different from normal, she did cry a little. The cry seemed different from the previous ones, this was more of a genuine cry, so it touched me more. I tried to take her to her group bathroom once, but it was closed. Liana had come along for the ride (yes, it is always a ride), and she started pointing to the bathroom outside. But, every time I get close to that bathroom with Aleksa, she loudly desires to go to the group bathroom. Oh well, I guess she forgot that she had to go, since I put her down and we all started doing something else.

I enjoyed getting all three of them to ask several things in English today. It was mainly things like "Two crackers please, Papa" and "Run please, Papa" (Liana's favorite request). Also, Adam and Liana are both learning to ask me to "Spin please, Papa." I think that they are also learning the word "again", but they haven't tried to say it yet. (Papa ended up quite dizzy today, but not near to barfing. This time, they wanted to be spun by me holding their hands and flinging them in circles around me. Liana just didn't want to stop, and I had to tell her that Papa was tired.)

Adam has had a little electronic something-or-other about the same size as a watch head. When you push the button, it plays, "It's a Small World After All." Well, just before our evening visit ended, he was working on it pretty hard, and I looked and saw that one of the wires had pulled loose. Uh-oh. I watche him work on it, and he figured it out enough that he could touch the wire to just the right spot and it would almost play. Cool -- smart boy! Anyway, I ended up stripping a bit of the insulation off that end, so you could hold the wire directly to the contact location, and it would play a little then. He continued to monkey with it, and then before we went home, he offered it to me, hoping that I could fix it. Both of the main wires were now disconnected. Previously, I had communicated that tape would help. Hopefully, I can get it fixed tonight. (How good of a Papa am I really? I hope this doesn't affect my grade...)

Right about when we were going to leave, my Mom called. We couldn't really hear her very well, but she could hear us. I handed the phone to Liana and Adam and Aleksa in turn. Adam and Liana both tried (and did very well) to say, "Hello, Grandma." Liana chatted up a storm, and I heard her say something about Mama and Papa. They all wanted to chat for a while, but the connection was bad, and we were supposed to be leaving.

I think I'll remember this night for a long, long, long time. When I gave Adam his good-bye hug, he grabbed on tighter than usual. I told him, "I love you" in Russian. Then, he said something that ended in "tosha", which means "too" in English. I think he told me that he loved me too!!! (OK, calm down John, you don't understand Russian well enough to know that for sure.) Then, I carried Aleksa and Liana up to their group rooms and left them there. Adam then picked up all three balls as we got in the taxi and said good-bye.

It was a good day. *sighs contentedly* (Though it did take me 45 minutes to dry off again... ;o) )

Our children and little bit about Ukraine

2004-08-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

Ice cream today! It's Liana's birthday, so we brought them some ice cream bars. (They were less than $.20 a piece. I can't believe how cheap they were.) Anyway, we brought the ice cream to the children, and they absolutely loved it. Adam kept shouting the Russian word for ice cream, until we got it out for them. Then, of course, he stopped shouting so he could eat. Liana thoroughly enjoyed hers, too. Aleksa made a royal mess as she watched other things going on, and slowly lowered her ice cream bar into her dress -- in several places. At one point she dropped a chunk, and Liana tried to pick it up, which made an even bigger mess. Somehow she got some in her hair, and everyone of us was laughing as Shelly and I cleaned them up with some wet wipes. Then, after the ice cream was gone, Adam and Liana licked the wrappers clean (even the ones that Shelly and I had eaten from. They really liked it.)

During the morning visit today, Adam kept (jokingly) wrapping the unfilled balloons around his neck and pretending to choke himself. I told him no several times, then took the balloons away. He got up and slowly walked off. I had to put down Aleksa (who didn't want to be put down) and go after him. It was worrisome, and I didn't know what was coming next. However, when I got to him, he smiled as I picked him up and blubbered his belly. He certainly seems to understand the difference between good and bad behavior quite easily. It is just a matter of getting him to realize that we really mean no when we say "No." (Liana has an even harder time with that, but I have definitely noticed some improvement. She will come a little easier now than Adam will when we try to move all of us to a different spot.)

Liana almost constantly wants to be held now. I think I learned the Russian word for "run" today, but I'm not sure. Liana definitely likes it when I run with her. When I'm also holding Aleksa, she really enjoys it too. It's too bad that Adam is heavier, since I can't really hold him for very long. Instead, I put him on my shoulders. He seems ok with that, and often asks me to spin him. (He did learn to say "spin"!)

Aleksa hit Mama a two separate times today, so Shelly firmly told her "No." Aleksa didn't much like that, and ended up crying, in Shelly's lap, for many minutes. It is sort of nice to see Liana and Adam trying to give her things so she will feel better, but then Aleksa hits it away, because she's busy crying. It seems that Aleksa has had her way a little too often.

Overall, today was two good visits. They were happy to see us, and didn't get stressed when we left. Liana once said that she didn't want to go back to her group, and I told her that I didn't want her to go back either. But that was all, since she knew she had to for now.

Going back to our rooms tonight was interesting. As I walked toward the cab, I heard some laughing going on. Shelly had gotten there first, and she and Katya were laughing because I was drenched with sweat. (That is not and exageration. About 60% of my shirt was wet, and my forehead had been dripping.) I guess the kids really like me, since I must have felt slimy as I held them.

That brings me to some things I've wanted to say about Ukraine itself. We had heard lots of the scary things about coming here. Nasty bathrooms, scary drinking water, etc. While we have seen one nasty bathroom, we haven't hit any of the other scary stuff. (I rather appreciate the driving style here.) The taxi drivers are good at what they do, and they get you there in good time if they can. Rather than being a scary thing, I rather wish that we could drive this way back at home. For example, if you're going to turn left and someone else is occupying the lane and wanting to go straight, just check to see if there's enough room next to them. If there is plenty of room for the other traffic, just pull up on the left side of the other car and turn when the corner is clear. There is a certain respect as they drive that I think is extremely rare in the U.S. Several of the streets we've been on are rarely used, and so are only a little wider than one car. When two cars meet, the one with a place, will pull over. After passing, the other car takes off again. It's nice to see that kind of cooperation. I'm afraid that if something like that happened in the U.S. we'd be more likely to see a honking contest. Also, when driving in a busy walking section, the cab driver will simply honk the horn to warn the people who are in the way. As they slowly drive through the crowd, the people just move. Basically, if the car can go where the driver wants to go, it's fair game. (Not quite, but drivers sure have a lot more freedom over here.)

Also, the food here is really good. There are several things that I've never had before, and are quite yummy. However, the most impressive thing is that there are so many different kinds of things that we have. For example, they have about 20 different varieties of ketchup in the store here. They aren't different like brands, but different in the contents (something like different types of spaghetti sauce). I ordered some French Fries and ketchup at the restaurant we go to in this town, and the ketchup was awesome. I couldn't believe that any ketchup could taste that good. The stuff in the U.S. is going to seem almost disgusting when I get home.

As others have mentioned, the juice here is totally wonderful. We recently tried the banana juice, and it had a flavor that I think I will crave for the rest of my life. (I would love to know how anyone juices a banana, though...)

Anyway, for those of you preparing to come to Ukraine for an adoption, please don't be afraid of the place. Sure, you might run into some things that are uncomfortable. But, I've become quite comfortable here, and there are several things that I'd love to be able to bring back home with us. Food variety, cultural things, etc. There is a lot more to enjoy here than there is to be afraid of! (Oh, and the vanilla ice cream that we got a few days ago was the best store-bought ice cream I've ever had. It was on par with my favorite homemade ice cream! You can also put fresh peaches on it, or pour a little of the delicious juice on it. Mmmmm!!!!!)

Passport photos and more

2004-08-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

If you hadn’t noticed, I didn’t blog yesterday. Things are improving with the children, but things seem to be much less “new” and getting closer to the everyday problems that people have with their children. While this totally pleases us, it makes it hard for me to write things that others would find interesting. I suppose that’s some defect in my personality, because certain people have told me many times that there are plenty of interesting things I could tell them. So, we’ll just see where this blog entry goes!

Adam is definitely well on his way to being an American Boy. He can understand a good chunk of what we say now, though part of that is still in Russian. Starting with Adam, then Liana, and Aleksa, we got ALL of them to say today, “Banana please, Papa.” It was very encouraging, to hear it from Liana, who had been extra shy about it. (We also get Adam and Liana to ask for the balloons in English, too.) When Aleksa asked for her banana, it was the cutest English sentence I have ever heard. It was rather jumbled, but she definitely said the words that we asked her to say! Oh, and Adam has learned the word “spin”, since he loves to have Papa spin in circles while holding him. (Papa gets slightly nauseated after the good spins!) I think he’s well on his way to learning the word, “dizzy”, too…

Liana was basically good today. She still loves to be held most of the time, so we do that. It is much easier to deal with an occasional bad action, which ends with a simple “no” or “nyet”. Oh! Not that the scratch itself was interesting, but we saw that something had made red marks on Liana’s cheeks. We tried to ask her what happened, but when Adam came and we asked him, he made a gesture of someone grabbing her cheek and pulling with fingernails. OUCH! So, we asked who did it, and Liana jokingly said that Adam did it. We all had a good short laugh about that one. It was a great bonding moment (though I think Aleksa was off chatting with the taxi driver).

Aleksa and I are definitely getting along better. She ran to me and wanted me to pick her up when we first arrived this afternoon. That was way cool. When we went to get their passport photos this morning, things just happened that I was holding her when we got into the car, so I put her on my lap. Adam was in the middle and wanted to hold her, which was just fine until the car started moving. Apparently, Aleksa is NOT comfortable with cars, yet. (I’m wondering what will happen in the plane…) Anyway, as soon as the car started moving, she grabbed at me, trying to hang on to something. So, I pulled her onto my lap, and wrapped both arms snugly around her stomach. While she wasn’t comfortable, yet, she clearly relaxed a bit. I held her the same way on the way back, and that time she was ok enough that she looked out the window to see what was going on as we drove by things. It’s a really good feeling to know that Papa can make a little child feel secure like that.

This afternoon, just before Shelly needed to put the band-aids on Adam’s feet, he and Liana were swinging on the gate that we drive through to get into the orphanage every day. One of those times, his new shoes, grabbed the ground and got trapped under the gate as it swung back. This broke one of the very thin blisters on the back of his feet (developed by his new shoes), and made a mark on the front of his foot, where the sandal lash goes around his ankle. I ran over to help, and tried to see how he was doing. He started to hop on one foot to the bench, so I picked him up and carried him over there. Then, Mama did her thing with wet wipes, kisses, and band-aids. After that, he seemed to want to put the sandal back on, which I thought wouldn’t be the best idea. It was also time for us to go, so he started hopping over to where Mama was already walking to the drop-off place. So, I grabbed him again. Then, Liana wanted up too, so I carried them to their drop off spot. We said pleasant good-byes, and headed back to our rooms.

Oh, we also called Vica this evening after we got back. (Apparently she had tried to call us last night, while we were in the computer room. I had left my phone in our room. Oops!) She said that we will find out tomorrow morning whether she can pick up our papers tomorrow night. We’re praying that she can. If certain things hadn’t worked out like they did today, the earliest we could have expected the papers was on Tuesday! AAH! Our children are getting used to us now, but the sooner we take them out of the orphanage the better. I think the passport photos today were a good sign for Adam and Liana that we really are going to take them home, rather than visit a little for a while and then leave them. But, they still wonder that in the back of their minds, I’m sure.

We also had the wierdest thing going on in our brains today. For some reason, we seriously could not figure out if it was Wednesday or Thursday. Apparently, it's Thursday. ... I think. ;o) That means it's Liana's birthday tomorrow. Hopefully we can rig up some ice cream for the three of them to enjoy.

Information about our process

2004-08-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I thought it would be good if we also posted an entry about how things are going with all the paperwork.

Vica just took a trip to the children's birthplace, in a VERY fast taxi. We expected her back somewhere in the range of 11:00, but it's only 9:00! She's going to make sure she uses that driver for her other long trips. :O)

Anyway, it looks like we will know the court date within a few days. After that, it sounds like things move pretty quickly, with a trip to the birthplace to pick up their new birth certificates. Then back to Kiev for an embassy interview, WITH the kids. People could leave for the U.S. the same day that they pull the kids out of the orphanage, but we are several hours from Kiev, and need an embassy interview before we can leave. Also, flights home are not available every day of the week.

That's about all that we can really say right now, since we don't know when things will all fall together.

Thank you very much for all the supporting comments, prayers, and calls. It makes all of you even more dear to us.

Conscious contestant

2004-08-03T21:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess I knew this before, but being a good papa is a lot of work. Yesterday, I made the comment to Shelly and Vica (that’s how she spells it, not Vika) that by the time we got home, the kids would think papas were for playing and mamas were for other stuff. Today, I feel completely different. Now, I’m sure they feel more like papas are for keeping children in line. This is a strange flip-flop, but it seems to all boil down to the children consciously or subconsciously trying to figure out if we really love them like we’re supposed to.

Aleksa seemed to test me in one way this morning and in a completely different way this evening. This morning, she kept running into the little garden, wanting to play in a ground-level birdbath that had at least 20 hornets flying around it. Papa kept bringing her back out and telling her not to. After 3 to 5 of these little excursions, Papa put her in his lap and wouldn’t let her down. She certainly made a fuss, but it wasn’t nearly as long as I was prepared for, which is good. This evening, it barely even seemed like a test, but I think it was. She told Mama that she had to go potty again, but took her on a wild goose chase. When Mama brought her back, Aleksa decided that it was Papa’s turn. So, expecting a wild goose chase, I listened as she chattered and pointed. I talked back, pretending that we could understand each other, and she seemed happy. She led me by the hand, straight to her bathroom! To be honest, here’s what I was thinking. “AAHHH!! I’ve never done this before!!!” But, she did her thing and came back out, while I looked for a light switch. When she came out, I helped her wash and dry her hands. They have an extra step of rinsing their hands in a little basin, which she pointed out to me quite happily. After we were done, she turned to me and held out her arms so I would pick her up! WOOHOO! It was her idea this time! When we came back out, it was time to go, so I put her down. Then, she asked me to carry her to her “groupa”. So, I walked over to where I knew it was, but she pointed down farther, taking me on a short little detour. When I realized what she was up to, I turned around and ran back with her. She laughed the whole way. It was great. When I put her down, Adam and Liana were there with big hugs ready, and seemed rather content. It was a good ending to a possibly traumatic visit. (Read on.)

Adam didn’t really want to come with us this morning, but we made him come. I think the expression was more of a “I’m bored with you guys” than a “I don’t like you”, but it still was a little scary. When we pulled out the legos, he really dove into them, so that made us feel better. (He didn’t even ask for the computer or the camera this time.) This afternoon, he came much easier, and we made sure we gave him extra hugs. While I was dealing with Liana, I made a point of sitting next to him and rubbing his back as I held Liana. Also, when he did something good, I made a point of saying that he was a good boy, and he grinned. The thing I enjoyed the most was at the start of our afternoon visit though. Shelly and I were talking about English and how we would all speak it soon. They were sort of grinning and eating. Somewhere in the conversation, I rubbed Adam’s head and told him that he was an American boy. He really seemed to enjoy that comment. Later, after Liana was near the end of her problem, she kicked at Adam. I told her to say she was sorry to Adam, and she said that he wasn’t Adam! He then confidently corrected her. I don’t know how much that factored into Liana’s improvement, but it wasn’t much after that when she started to be much better.

Liana caused us some worry this afternoon. It is clear to us that attention is a big issue, and with three children, it is very hard to provide the required amounts of attention – particularly if any of the other orphanage children come over to get what they can. One of those girls was standing there while Liana tried to open her peanuts. She had opened them a little, and was carefully trying to get them open farther. Then, they exploded. I jumped up and started grabbing as many as I could, but the other little girl had grabbed a few. After a little bit, I pushed the other girl back toward her group, and came back to see Liana having a fit with Mama. She wouldn’t eat the peanuts that had caused the problem, and she was saying things that equated to “bad mama” or “not my mama”, etc. After a while, Aleksa decided to take Mama on that walk, so I took Liana. She seemed ok with that, but it got a little worse. We thought the taxi was back already and that we had to go, which _really_ complicated things. I put her down, and thought things were sort of ok. Then realized that they weren’t when she shouted something at me, which very much sounded like she didn’t want us to come back. So I picked her up and we had a “discussion”, that went something like this. “I am your papa.” “No you’re not.” “Yes I am.” “No.” “I love you, Liana.” “No you don’t.” “Yes.” “No.” “Yes.” “No.” – etc. Meanwhile, Adam was nearby, observing things without trying to look like he was really there (or maybe not wanting to be there).

During this time, something crystallized in my mind. Based upon some stories that I have heard about me and my siblings as well as many other children, I knew that this was a sort of contest. So, I consciously thought to myself that I would not let her win, no matter how long she wanted to go. So, I calmly and repeatedly affirmed that I was her papa and that I did love her. After the argument had quieted down (without her attitude necessarily improving), Shelly and I sang a couple songs as she sat in my lap with her arms folded. I pulled her close to me then, and she didn’t resist. So, I contented myself with that for a bit. After a while, she started eating her peanuts, which really sort of made me think things were on the upward track. Then, she got up and started walking away somewhat slowly. I had been watching Adam as he kept saying, “Look, Papa” at the different things he was making. But, I didn’t know where she was headed or why, so I got up and walked up to her. When I reached her, I gently took her arm. She didn’t even try to resist, as I turned her around and brought her back to the bench area we were at. I still wasn’t completely sure things were ok, but when one of their caregivers came to work, walking through our area, Adam and Liana both ran up to her excitedly. I was afraid that Liana might follow her away from us, but she stopped several steps away from me and turned around on her own. That was when I knew that things were definitely going to be ok.

When I came back from my little trip with Aleksa, I got a big, grinning hug from Liana, and that really made the whole day much brighter. Adam was happy to hug me goodbye, too. So, we left feeling like our family had won a battle. It was good.

If this sort of blog entry can help some future adoptive (or natural) parents to deal with their children, I would be happy. But mostly, I hope to keep these notes to show our kids later when they are ready to see what we did in order to make us a family.

2004-08-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

I have something a little different for today. Instead of a journal-like chronological exposition on the day’s activities, (I had fun waxing eloquent there!) I will write a little about each of the children instead.

ADAM (Meesha)

He is the oldest, so I suppose we can expect the fastest learning from him. On the other hand, it is generally harder to learn languages as you get older. Either way, he was the first to say a full sentence of English. During our evening visit today, Shelly understood that he wanted a balloon. She got him to say “balloon” and “please”, then gave him one. Then, he wanted another balloon. So Shelly counted to two in Russian, and then in English. Then, she told him to say “Two balloons, please, Mama”. After a little bit of coaxing, he finally tried it, and he did a great job! (Mala dyets!) We both made a big deal of it, and definitely indicated that we approved of his effort. It was great fun.

It is a little harder to read him than the other two, but he seems to be just fine with us for now. We decided to take away the Pocket PC and the digital camera for most of this evening, because he pretty much was ignoring us when we would let him play with those. BUT, he looks plenty happy (and shy like a 9-year-old-boy) every time we give him hugs and kisses. Once or twice while I’ve been holding his hand, he has sort of hugged my arm. I like that. (He even kind of petted my arm once, but I think it was because he’s not used to hairy arms (most ladies don’t have hairy arms.))

I picked him up to give him a hug during the middle of our evening visit, today. Then, I decided he should get on my back and let me run around with him. This was particularly interesting, since he didn’t know what I was doing, and we haven’t progressed to the point where I can tell him to get on my back. Sooo… I sort of shuffled, spun, and flipped him around until he was finally on my back, piggy-back style. Then, I took off running. He certainly sounded like he was enjoying it, and I could tell there was a grin on his face. I wanted to keep him up there for a while, but I got pooped after several minutes. So, I tried out some Russian, “Papa oostala.” He energetically said, “oostal”, a few different times in different sentences. At least HE’s clear on the fact that I’m a man. Obviously, I’m rather confused about it, since “oostala” is for tired girls, and “oostal” is for tired boys. (I’m pretty sure I heard Liana giggling about that one, too.)

LIANA (Vallya)

She seems the most versatile in moods, and has many interesting quirks. One of the things she clearly likes to do is to bother her brother. It was almost hilarious this morning when Adam was taking pictures. He had asked Aleksa to stand in a certain spot, so he could take her picture. While he was doing this, Liana stuck out her elbows, and humorously “tip-toed” behind Aleksa in order to “sneak” into the picture. She also did the same sort of motion tonight, when she was wandering away from us to grab something out of the garden that they have there (which we think she wasn’t supposed to be doing).

Liana thoroughly enjoys being held. Both Shelly and I have held her for 10 or more minutes at a shot before things needed to change for different reasons. I also had her on my back and ran around a few times. When I’m holding her, she likes to reach for high things, and pulls leaves off the trees when she can reach them.

I think that of the three, Liana is the most “obvious”. By that I mean that she doesn’t hide things either as much or as well as the others. Whatever good behavior she’s got sticks right out, and whatever bad behavior she’s got is right there too. I simultaneously think this is good and bad. Good, because it’s a whole lot easier to correct things when they stick out so clearly. Bad, because we can’t really do much about it for a few more weeks at the least. (Language barriers are a big headache!) The other two are either better at hiding behavior that is embarrassing or could possibly get them in trouble, or they are less able to communicate through their physical motions. *shrugs*

ALEKSA (Zeena)

If cute was the contest, she would win. Even when she’s afraid of me picking her up, or is “swatting” at us, she still manages to be cute about it. Once I’ve been able to regularly get hugs from her, we’ll have to deal with those things. She also said “Mamka” once, which is a derogatory for mama, but Liana piped up and said “Eta Nee mamka! Eta Mama!” (Which means, “She is NOT mamka. She is mama!”) That was very cool from Liana, and Aleksa hasn’t said that a second time.

She still won’t hug me when I ask, but they occasionally come. I managed to sort of hold her for a little bit this afternoon, but I think she is still afraid that I will put her on my shoulders. She kept asking me to put her down (or at least that’s what I think she was saying since she kept looking at the ground, and half-heartedly trying to get there, while saying many things with “papa” mixed in.) HOWEVER, she gives great little kisses on the cheek when we leave them.

Aleksa also does this interesting little run that is very hard to describe. Every time we walk in to get them for a visit, she sort of puts her hands flat toward the ground and holds her arms straight while running toward us. Sometimes she will turn around and run back, then come to us. I’m not sure why, but it might be that she saw Mama first, then saw me, then came back for Mama. *shrugs* That doesn’t bother me much. If they all just poured on the affection without getting to know us first, that would signal some possible problems later on. So, I fully expect that a few weeks from now, she will want to give me hugs.

Oh! She *really* likes talking to me. I keep telling her that I don’t understand what she’s saying, and that I speak English, but she keeps on going. We have a little Ukrainian booklet with a small dictionary in the back. Sometimes, she’s holding it possessively and we would have looked up something if she hadn’t been. Anyway, the cover has a picture with some geese on it. This morning, I had pointed at them and said “birds” a few times. Later on, she saw a pigeon. So, she called for “papa” and said a bunch of something or other. In the midst of the chatter, I am sure that I heard her say “bird” at least once. We asked Vika whether there was anything that she could say about a bird that would sound like “bird”, and she assured us that there wasn’t. So, Aleksa has the privilege of being the first of the three to speak any English!

I guess that’s enough for now. Talk to you later!

Aleksa teaching Papa Ukranian?
Liana and Papa

Learning to be a family

2004-07-31T21:00:00.000-07:00

Well, this will be a shorter blog. Shelly will tell you all about the fortress we visited today, so read her blog for that.

We visited the children twice today, one hour in the morning and one hour in the early evening. During the morning, we met inside, because it had rained while we went to the market (which is a cool place) to buy fruit. We gave them all bananas, which they loved. (BTW, banana is something like "banan" in Ukrainian, so that will be easy for them to learn!) This meeting was pretty good, but I think I gave Aleksa a good scare toward the end. Liana was looking sort of longingly at Shelly with Aleksa sitting on her lap. So, I asked her if she wanted to sit on Mama's lap, and she nodded. I grabbed her and plopped her down near Mama, and picked up Aleksa, who didn't like that much. So, I tried to put her up on my shoulders, which made things worse. Oh well.

Our second visit was another good one. This time we were outside at a bench away from the other children (even though one or two will still find us anyway). We had fun playing with balloons for a while. Liana still does this weird thing where if I'm looking at her while she is playing with something, she might look up and pull the toy away from me, even if I wasn't holding out my hand. Not sure what's up with that, but we'll deal with it later if it doesn't go away on it's own. (I think it might have something to do with the fact that they don't really get to keep any of the stuff we've brought them, yet.)

At the end of the visit, we got good hugs. I was wondering if Aleksa would give me a hug at all, so I just knelt next to her while she gave Shelly a hug. Then, Shelly turned her to me, and she gave me a very nice hug, plus a kiss on the cheek! Woohoo! Liana gave us nice hugs, and then we hunted down Adam who had sort of taken off. (We think they are a little shy about showing affection in front of the other kids.) Anyway, I found him and gave him a good hug, then called him back to give Shelly a good one, too. On our way back to the car, we walked past Liana's play area and she was watching us. So, she got 2 hugs on the way out this time. It was nice.

I'm sure that a bunch of other stuff happened today, but my brain and heart are all caught up in the kids, so that's all I'm posting about! :O)

P.S. Just read some comments. Right now, we'll hold off on the children's history, except to say that they've been in the orphanage for 2 years. Also, I haven't been able to tell that Adam's arm has any noticeable problems. He's been busy tying balloons and messing around in a bunch of different ways, too.

Thursday

2004-07-29T23:02:00.000-07:00

NOTE: This entry and the next two are out of date order, but since I am putting them all up at the same time, I wanted you to read them in the proper order (from top to bottom for these 3).

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Shelly wanted me to write my own blog entries, without reading hers first. That way, you can all get my view of things. That sounded good, even though there will be some repeat information.

Where do I begin? There is so much to talk about. 3 children! Woohoo! And they are all wonderful. I thought that it would be difficult to find 2 mostly normal children, but here we are, trying to adopt 3 children who will be in very good shape a few months after we’ve been taking care of them! (And they are in pretty good shape already. We will give them the nutrition they need, love they require, and whatever else is useful in helping them grow to their full potential.)

Yesterday, around 1:00, we first visited Liana and Aleksa (I misspelled it as Alexa in the link to the pictures). The second they walked into the director’s office, we were in love. Liana was very shy, and would hardly even look up at us. On the other hand, Aleksa was as bold as could be, and quickly claimed Shelly as her private possession. (BTW, we are still calling them by their birth names, Vallia (Valentina), Zena (Zenaida), and Meesha (Mikhial).

When we went to leave the director’s office to visit with them in a separate room, Shelly and I weren’t sure where we were going. Liana was holding my hand, and decided that we were leaving the orphanage (or at least walking outside the building). About the time that we got out of the building, one of the workers called us back in and showed us what room to go to. We visited for a while, and got the pictures that you saw of them. Liana loved the camera, and pushed buttons and played with it for a good while. Aleksa just kept on hugging and playing with Shelly.

After going back into the director’s office with them, the director (very nice lady, perfect person to be a director), asked them if they wanted us to be their mama and papa. Liana simply nodded with a straight face, and Alexa happily said agreed. This was a real mood booster! Liana was sitting on Vika’s lap (our translator) when she realized that we were leaving. Vika said that she started to tremble! Vika and the director calmed her down and made sure she knew that we were coming back. When we hugged them both before we left to get Adam, Liana (still looking down) said, “Come back, Papa.” – I think I need a new heart.

The trip to get Adam was long and winding. Several of the roads were under construction in several different places, so it seemed that we were constantly slowing down and speeding up. I thought it would take us much too long to get there, but we made it in only a little more than the expected time. Toward the end of the trip there, we drove through very rural locations, complete with goats, cows (we almost hit one, and Shelly squealed!), horse-drawn wagons with loads of hay, fields FULL of sunflowers, etc.

We arrived at Adam’s camp, and got out. The receptionist from the director’s office (she had to come along) gave the official papers to the director of the camp, and Meesha came running out, smiling. We didn’t have much time, so he said goodbye to his favorite care-giver, Irina. Then we piled in the car and took off (and waved at the now-infamous cow, which the woman taxi driver fondly remembered had scared Shelly). Most of the way back, we just tried to sleep. But, we did stop and get some fruit-filled bread and some drinkable yogurt with pineapple and peach in it (good stuff). Adam liked to play with my Pocket PC just like Liana did, but the batteries wore out, so we had to put it away rather quickly.

Well, that’s the novel for Thursday!

Friday running around

2004-07-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

Friday, July 30, 2004

Today, we got up at 7:20 (since I woke up 20 minutes after I intended the alarm to go off). I couldn’t get the shower water heater to turn on, so we had cold showers. (I think it had something to do with the low water pressure at the time.)

Then, we drove over to the notary, and waited for Vika to get some paperwork started over there. (A notary here is sort of a cross between our notaries and our lawyers.) After the notary, we drove to the city hall to get some paperwork going there. (During most of these trips, we just waited in the taxi, while Vika worked her magic.) Then we headed over to the orphanage to get some papers we needed. Vika found out that a previous couple had bought a replacement ink cartridge for the orphanage’s printer, but it didn’t work! So, we took the box that it had come in, and added to our list the purchase of a new ink cartridge (which would then allow them to print out some of the things we needed!)

So, after another trip to city hall, we actually got out and signed some papers. (There may have been another city hall trip in there, but I think it was only 2.) These papers were a petition to the city to allow us to adopt, as well as changing the names of the children, and requesting to wave the 30 day waiting period. (I might have missed something, but those were the items that I cared about enough to remember.)

Now, we had some waiting to do, so we headed to the grocery store to by some food for the next day or two. I really like food, and could spend a few paragraphs on our trip to the store, but my blog entry is already going to be quite long. Maybe I’ll add some food information in one of the comments if someone requests it.

After the store, we went back to our rooms, and Vika cooked some of the Ukrainian breaded meat thingies that we bought. (Think ravioli without sauce, and with pork and beef instead.) We enjoyed some talking over the meal. (Vika is very good at striking up conversations with people, which is a big plus, since I’m sure that her friendliness has helped us quite a bit in the course of our paperwork.)

Around 2:30, Dmitri (or Dima, I’m never sure which I should call him), came to see us before he headed back to Kiev. Since we now know that we are adopting 3 children, we payed the extra money for the other 2. Dima was very happy for us, and we enjoyed chatting with him for several minutes. We had to be at the notary by 3:00, so we couldn’t go to eat with him, like he wanted us to do. I guess we’ll see him again before we leave, since routine is that he will bring us the final papers and take us to the airport. (That sounds like it is at least 2 weeks away, if things go smoothly.)

We got to the notary at around 3:00, and stood in a small, open hallway with a bunch of Ukranians who were waiting to get in. I got the impression that they weren’t very pleased when Vika just walked in (we waited in the hall still). After a bit, one of the ladies asked me something or other. Using my incredible language skills, I eloquently told them that I didn’t understand anything. (Ya ny’pinyemiao) They accepted this, and I sort of figured that they were trying to figure out who was in line first, and who had appointments, etc.

When Vika came back out, all she wanted was our passports, so we had to wait a little longer. She came back out again, and it was only to wait with us. But just a few minutes later, we were let in, and the lady notary took a little time filling ledgers with Ukrainian cursive writing. (It is rather interesting to watch. For some reason, it seems that they write slower than we do, but if I were to time it, I doubt that it would be the case. When I watch Vika write her signature, it looks like she finishes the first couple of letters, the goes back and starts by writing inside those letters, then extending out past that again. It might just be a signature-thing, but my curiosity is up, so I keep watching when I get the chance.)

Anyway, after the ledger and official papers were ready, Shelly and I each signed once on 2 very official looking sheets of paper, then twice in the ledger. One document was to for the city, and the other for the NAC. Both of them had something to do with requesting that they complete the adoption process.

It was near to 4:00, now. Vika asked us if we wanted to go to the orphanage, even though the children might not be available until 5:00. We said yes, but first we needed to pick up the printer cartridge. A nice little store with a lot of crayons, brushes, paper, pens, rulers, glue, copy machines, etc. was the place to go. The quickly found the cartridge we needed, and we payed 195 grivna for it (almost $40 – quite in line with U.S. prices).

Back at the orphanage, we gave them the cartridge, and this one worked! Woohoo! The secretary-like lady that we talked with was thankful, and she talked with Vika for quite a while, since we had to wait for the children to come back from wherever they were.

I think I’ll start a new blog entry for our visit with the kids, so hang onto your seats!

Friday Meetings

2004-07-29T23:00:00.000-07:00

Friday Meetings, July 30, 2004

We visited the children twice today. Once in the morning (12:30-ish to 1:00-ish?), and once in the afternoon (around 5:00 – 6:00).

This time, we got to meet with all three of them together! This was so exciting! But, this first meeting seemed very short. We walked over to a bench, away from most of the other children, though some still came over for a bit. Liana loved looking at the camera again, and discovered how to flip through the pictures that we had already taken. (She seems like she’s pretty bright.)

We took out the balloons, and we found out which color they wanted. Then I asked them what I should make with them. Alexa (Zena) wasn’t sure what she wanted, so I made a dog for her. Liana wanted a bird – Ouch! I told them that it was hard, and made a somewhat feeble attempt at it. She seemed to like it anyway. Adam seemed like he wante to take it easy on me, so he asked for a dog. :o) After a little playing around, I showed Liana and Adam how to blow up the balloons for themselves. Then, I showed them how to curl up the balloon without tying it, and to let it spin in circles after letting go. Liana really liked that for about 5 or 10 minutes.

Time went way to fast, and Adam had to leave before the others. He looked dreadfully disappointed at first, but was smiling when we hugged him before he left. Then Liana had to go, and Zena followed soon after. It was a pleasant visit, and we wished we could have stayed longer, but didn’t really know what we would have done with the little that we had brought.

VISIT 2

We went out looking for them after waiting in the director’s waiting room. We found Adam (Meesha) first, and then we found Liana (Vallia). They both came running, and got big hugs. Liana was smiling a lot more than we expected, and seemed almost like a different girl. Adam showed me his deflated balloon, and I tied off the holes and reinflated the part that was still good. We also had two balloons left, and I gave them to Adam and Liana. They chased each other around for a while, and I wasn’t sure what to do, so I tried to play a little, and watch more. (This language barrier is *incredibly* frustrating.)

Aleksa (Zena) walked around the corner while we weren’t looking, and ran to Shelly for a hug. I reached for a hug after Shelly put her down, and she came. (Sometime soon, I think she will genuinely want to give me a hug, but she still seems somewhat uncomfortable with me.)

We found a little bench area with 3 walls and a roof, where we sat down and did some stuff. Liana started to show some character traits that scared us, since she grabbed the pictures we had brought, then ran off without letting anyone (even me) look at them with her. She did this with the balloon, and the beach ball that we inflated as well.

Adam is bigger and stronger, so he was able to get the ball from her (in what looked like a playful manner). They enjoyed running around the little seating building we were in, chasing each other and laughing. I joined in, catching them and putting them back down, which they didn’t seem to mind too much. Aleksa was still just sitting on Shelly’s lap.

Somewhere during this time, the rest of the kids started to flood in. They demanded things, and tried to poke around in Shelly’s purse. It was very difficult for us to pay attention to Adam and Liana. Sometime during this, Liana got very disturbed and whenever I walked toward her, she would walk away. This totally freaked us out! I ended up following her back to the place where she was playing with her friends before. The caregiver there looked at me sympathetically and tried to help, but I couldn’t tell her what was going on – because I didn’t know, and because I can’t speak Russian! (Argh!)

The caregiver tried to speak to Liana, but she wouldn’t listen. I walked toward her again, and she went into a different little seating building, supposedly to hide. I found her standing on the seat, with her back to the corner. I held my hands out for her to come down to me, and she refused. Then I just reached for her, told her that I loved her (I think I did, anyway), and hugged her (picking her up at the same time). She seemed okay after a little bit, and even accepted the hug! So, I carried her back to where Shelly was.

I’m not sure exactly how things happened, but Adam did something very similar after that, too. (Scary * 2 = extra scary!) It was much harder to deal with him. At least twice, I followed him, picked him up gently, and carried him back to the place where we were. Vika was not there at this time, and we sure could have used her. She did show up after a little while, and asked if we were ready to leave. Instead, we explained what happened, and she spent at least half an hour talking, following, and figuring out what was going on with Adam. It all boiled down to a little fight that Adam and Liana had had, as well as all the other things going on. Vika is pretty sure that they were also fighting for attention from us. During this whole time, Aleksa had Shelly’s lap locked up, and I was running after the one with the most obvious problem.

Things eventually improved, and all three ended up at a bench much farther from the other children. We had them drawing in coloring books, and Vika dominated things in a continued attempt to keep things going well. (If I haven’t said it already, Vika is an absolute God-send!)

We colored for a while, and then it was time for us to leave. Adam gave me a shy, but accepting hug, and I told him that I loved him (I know I had messed it up when I tried the other two or three times during this situation.) Aleksa let me hug her without any problems, and when I told her that I loved her (as I did with each of them), she looked me straight in the face (at very close, hugging range). Nothing much happened, but she seemed like she was analyzing me. Liana was a little more difficult, but it seemed that she just wanted more attention, not that she didn’t want to be with us. I gave her a good, long hug, as well as a couple kisses on the cheek. (Boy will my insides feel better when I know that they feel accepted by us. This in-between stuff, which will probably last for a few weeks, is really tough – particularly since we didn’t learn Russian.) In the mean-time, we will do our best to visit them in a place that is completely separate from the other children, and will try very hard to give them all the attention we can. (Did I say that I love them, yet? I sure do. They really need it, too.)

Comments on comments

2004-07-28T11:31:00.001-07:00

I just read through the comments on these blog entries. (We haven't had enough internet time to do that until today.

If you haven't noted the little treasures that my brother Jared posted, please read them. No, I don't think the colds are turning into pneoumonia, in fact, we're getting better. And no, you don't become multiple uncles by having multiple nieces and nephews! ;oP

My comments to Shelly's recent novel

2004-07-28T11:31:00.000-07:00

Well, Shelly has stolen all of the thunder I would have had, if I had written first. So, maybe I should just say that while she is slightly worried about the way things could go, I am pretty optimistic. Whatever happens, God is in charge, and it doesn’t really matter if these are the right children or not. If they are not, then God sent us here for a reason, and if money is a problem, He will supply it when we need it. It’s great to type that, since it helps to reinforce the thoughts we should be having. :o)

We have a referral!

2004-07-27T03:36:00.000-07:00

The N.A.C. appointment went well (and a bit quickly). We were nervous, and there were several acceptable referrals we could have chosen. It seems that as soon as we mentioned that the acceptable ages were 0-9 and that we would take 2 or 3 children, the questions stopped and we started getting referrals shoved at us!

Anyway, we accepted a referral for 1 boy (oldest), and 2 girls. Check Shelly's blog for the rest!

We landed!!!

2004-07-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are IN UKRAINE! It was a very long set of flights. The longest was the 8 hour flight that started about 7:00 pm on Saturday night and ended at 8:00 am on Sunday. (We switched timezones, so those numbers really are right.) Shelly and I were in the worst of our colds, and the seating was rather cramped, so it was a rough night. But, we landed in Prague, took off for Ukraine, and here we are!

There's a lot to deal with, but we've got this evening and tomorrow before we actually go in for our appointment. Hopefully, we'll get all the rest that we need, and manage to conquer our colds.

Shelly's got a good story about using her Spanish capabilities on this trip, so check her blog, if you haven't already.

Subscribing to our blog

2004-07-22T13:17:00.000-07:00

If you look up at the top-right corner of this blog, you'll notice an "Atom Feed" link. With this kind of link you can use a "news reader" program to read our blog. The advantage to using a news reader is that it will tell you when a new blog entry has been added -- a lot like email. That way you don't need to check the site (every 30 minutes ;oP ) just to find out that we didn't post anything new, yet.

Here is a good list of available news reader programs: http://www.reallysimplesyndication.com/directory/22/reviews My favorite is SharpReader, but you must first go to www.WindowsUpdate.com and download the ".Net Framework 1.1" from the "Recommended" section, if you don't already have it installed.

Enjoy!

The adventure begins, prematurely?

2004-07-21T12:38:00.000-07:00

We've all heard of good adoption stories as well as scary ones. The more common 'scary' stories include people getting sick while they are in the process of the adoption.

Well, guess what? There's a cold bug working pretty hard on me right now. Hopefully, I'll beat it by Saturday, and Shelly won't catch it!

BTW, have others ever thought that gargling with mouthwash made the back of their throat feel better when they had a cold?

Advertisement moving

2004-07-20T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like the banner has been successfully moved to the bottom. Let me know what browser and version you are using if the blog looks strange when you view it.

Blog switching

2004-07-20T12:51:00.000-07:00

Not only has it been a while since I blogged anything, but we just switched to a different blog setup. Shelly wanted features that were not simple to add, and there were some small inconsistencies with the blog setup we were using before. So, we are now trying out Blogger.com. So far, it looks good, and there is a relatively simple way for us to add pictures.

You'll notice the advertisement at the top. I really wanted to cover that up, but the licence agreement says that doing so would be cause for immediate termination of our ability to use the site. (Maybe I can move it to the bottom or something...)

Shelly and I will be blogging when we get the opportunities while we're in Ukraine. We'll even put pictures up for you to see, unless there are technical difficulties. (Of course, if we come upon technical difficulties, I'll be monkeying with that for a while before we give up. There are so many different ways to accomplish the same things, when it comes to computers.)