Shelly mentioned that I hadn't blogged for a while, and she's right! Coincidentally, she tried to blog this morning, but something funny happened and she lost what she had written before it was blogged. So, she thinks it's my turn to blog about yesterday. :o)

One of two things has been happening (probably some of both): 1) The children are getting used to things and situations are calming down and approaching the sort of arrangement that Shelly and I expected when we thought of having children. and/or 2) Shelly and I are getting used to the way things are, and finding that it's pretty good most of the time.

So, what happened yesterday? Breakfast; part of a video (Adam continually asks to watch TV); a visit from Grandma, Auntie Cara, cousing Glen, as well as the new faces of cousin Jessie, her husband Chris, and their daughter Audrey. Chris and Jessie brought some clothes for the kids, and Adam got upset that there weren't any toys. He ended up sulking in his room for a while, but then we brought him out and he improved after a bit.

They mentioned a trip to Granddad's Bluff, and asked if we wanted to take the kids there, too. Shelly and I hemmed and hawed and thought about it for a while. We weren't sure what to do. Eventually, I thought that it might be good to get them excited outside of the house, so that they would be less stimulated inside the house. I'm not sure if that's a good line of reasoning, but we did go, and they enjoyed it -- without any bad behavior!

Yesterday was one of those days that looks like it will rain any second, but it doesn't. A few times, the kids asked to go outside, and we thought, "No, it's too hard to get you back inside, and we know it's going to rain soon." But, it kept not raining, so we took them outside after supper. Aleksa was cold right away, and Liana got a little chilled after a while. So, they ended up running inside for their little personal blankets. At that point, I decided it was time to go back inside (and that we're visitting a good will store today for some fall coats, since the "baby" shower isn't until Friday night). I was right, Adam and Liana didn't come in right away when I was sure that they knew what I was telling them. So, I chased them down and carried them into the house, then gave them a little scolding. It was really cool though, they were both sorry right away, without me having to figure out whether to put them in a corner. We are certainly making progress!

We ended the day by finishing up one of the videos Adam had been watching. I had to do a little computer work, but came out about 20 minutes before it was their bed time. Then, we all laid on the couch/floor and snuggled together while we watched. It was a great to a good day.

Oh! One other thing. I'm not sure what the kids are thinking exactly (particularly Liana), but they like to make lots of noise when they see Shelly and I kiss. Liana decided that she would try to kiss me on the lips, too. But, that would blur some of the relationship lines that we are trying to make clear to the children. Also, we've noticed that Liana is doing things that can easily be understood as attempts to rule the house. Letting her be equal with Mama would not be good. So, I kept turning my head and telling her, "Only Mama, not Liana." It was a fun game for a while, then she switched to telling me that she didn't love me, then she'd be normal for a while, then she'd try kissing me on the lips later. That happened 2 or 3 times, and one of the last times, Mama came and kissed me during the episode. Adam joined in by holding our heads together and sort of hugging us. It was a rather memorable and fun moment, with the kids yelling and giggling about us kissing. (BTW, it is clear that Liana's, "I don't love you" comments are about as far from the truth as possible. Once they've had time to really feel out the relationship arrangements, I doubt we'll hear that anymore. I'm also pretty sure that she has realized that such a statement won't help her, since the biggest reaction I gave her was to smile and say that I knew that she did love me.)

Anyway, that's my first blog in a while. Hope you enjoyed it!

Court went very well today. Shelly cried tears of joy while we listened to the judge tell us that we were approved and that the 30-day waiting period was waved. I just grinned big, like I tend to do when things are going very well. :OD

After that, we headed to the children's birth place, which is about a 3 hour drive, one way. We waited around for quite a while, and Shelly enjoyed a "talk" with our favorite taxi driver. Eventually, we went in and signed some papers and came out with the children's new birth certificates! Woohoo!

We just got back from that trip (it's 9:30 now), and are trying to set up a flight back home Tuesday or Wednesday next week. However, we aren't sure what flights are available, and it may not be until Thursday. (This could be a very tough week!)

This Friday, we plan to take the children to the official doctor's apointment that is needed before we can leave. Then on Monday, we will go to the U.S. Embassy and get the visas, etc (which we can't pick up until 3:00pm). Once that is complete, the leftovers can be handled by mail if it isn't already settled. So, the sooner we can get home, the better. (Hopefully, we can get a good flight arranged. Please pray that it is sooner rather than later!)

The only bad thing about today is that we weren't able to see the children at all. We will have to wait until tomorrow to tell them the good news. (But we did tell them yesterday about the plans for today.)

I don't know when we will be able to blog next, because we are definitely not going to be back here tomorrow night. Please pray hard until we are home! Having the children 24 hours a day in a place that is strange to all of us is going to be difficult in many ways.

Love,
John, Shelly, Adam, Liana, and Aleksa

Well, today was an exciting day! We bought clothes for the kids (shirts, shorts/slacks, socks, underwear). Also, we grabbed a hat for Adam, since he'd asked for one several times. Then, we bought some extremely delicious popsickles. One went to our wonderful taxi driver, who also took us through the market maze in our hunt for clothing. Then all of us had our popsickles, except Adam. I guess he was being punished for something, since he was sitting by himself in a chair and in a sullen mood. We couldn't take him right away because of whatever was going on. When we finally could take him, he was saying that he didn't want to come. But, when we handed him the food and melted popsickle, he warmed up quickly.

They loved their clothes. We have not seen bigger grins on their faces, and a little bit of hopping around took place, too! (Happy birthday, Aleksa!)

This afternoon, between visits, Vica called us. We were nervously excited, and then she told us what we wanted to hear!! Yippee! She's on a train right now, coming to Odessa, where the taxi driver will pick her up at 5:00 am tomorrow. They will get here a little while later, and our court appearance will be at 9:00! Woohoo! (Do I sound excited enough?)

When we got to the orphanage tonight, our children were in one of the musical thingies that we weren't allowed to interrupt before. But, I walked past the door, and saw Adam in his new shirt. He was one of the only children facing my direction, and he saw me. Shortly after that, I heard some noises and the word "Papa". In a little bit, they all came running out to see me. It was great to know that they got out as fast as they could, rather than waiting until the whatever-it-was was over. :oD

I tried to tell Adam about the court thing when we first found them, and I think he understood a little. About a minute later, he asked if we could (or when we would) go for a car ride. I tried to tell him that maybe in 2 or 3 days. While I'm not sure that he understood me exactly, his smile made me think that the message of "soon" came across well.

A translator for another couple agreed to explain about the court meeting to the children, since we might not be with them tomorrow because of this. Aleksa looked completely indifferent, probably because she didn't have a clue anyway. Liana was hard for me to read. It could have been a little fear, since she hasn't been on a train or anything like that before. But, she also could have just been trying to figure out what it all meant. The highlight, though, was Adam's face. He was beaming, and we could tell that this was VERY good news to him. That just sort of topped off the whole day. :o) We played around for a while after that, then had to leave. It was a pleasant parting, and we waved as we drove away. We blew kisses (Aleksa particularly likes that.) Aleksa trailed behind the other two, and grinned big as I kept waving and waving while we drove away.

Today was relatively "normal". The kids seemed happy for us to be there, misbehaved a little, but were happy we were there. Adam came running to us this morning too, so we felt much better after what happened last night.

I was both pleased and bothered tonight about some of Adam's actions. It appears that he is a normal 9 year old, wanting things to play with and to hold his attention. So, he will occasionally wander away from us (against our instructions) to play with some other adopting couple and their children (differen toys). One of those was a book of English words and pictures (boy, girl, mother, father, ball, cat, hand, face, etc.) I sat with him a read the words for a few minutes, and then had to give the book back. When I tried to do that, Adam clung to the book, and I really had to pull it from his hands. We then started carrying the children back to "our spot". Once Adam knew that he was going, whether he wanted to or not, he started running/skipping over there. I sat down and tried to draw some pictures and write the words for them, but that just didn't seem to cut it. Liana was interested in that, though. She would point at something on the quick point card, ask me what it was, then write a little squiggle on some paper. It was cute, but I know that the squiggles were not actually anything readable in Russian, Ukranian, or English (though it could have been shorthand ;oP )

Aleksa took me for a tour around the outside of the building this afternoon, and Liana wanted to go along for the ride. It was rather fun, but I have no clue what Aleksa was trying to say to me.

The other adopting couple, that I mentioned above, left after a while, and their kids came over to ask for some balloons. Adam really likes giving balloons to the other kids, which I think is a good thing, but I would really like to know why he does it, too. Anyway, I became a human pump after a bit. These balloons are next to impossible to blow up by mouth, though you can do it with a little hand-work added in. So, the kids would hold the open end of the balloon to me, then suck on the other end. This would result in the balloon sort of expanding inside their mouths, then extending out a little ways. They really got a kick out of this, so I ended up doing that for a while. (The bad part was that they obviously didn't care about spreading germs, so I really hope that I don't catch anything from this!) Also, while I was doing this, the two other children were calling me "Papa". I told them that I was "Mister", not "Papa". They understood that after I said it two or three times. I also made sure to blow up Adam and Liana's balloons first, even if these other children had been asking for just a bit longer. I'm not sure, but I think this had the desired effect of reinforcing our children's belief that they are more special to Shelly and I than any of the other children. (I also think that our kids get along better with these other two, because they all know that they have their own Mama and Papa already and aren't trying to steal us away.)

I know this is a slightly shorter blog than normal, but I can't really think of anything else to say right now. We'll be buying some clothes before we go to visit the children tomorrow morning, so that will give me something to talk about tomorrow for sure. (Oh! Liana asked for some socks tonight, and eventually got it across to me that I should give her my socks like I had done or Adam a couple days ago. So, I took them off (sweaty and all) and gave them to her. She tried putting them on, found out they were way too big, then came over and stuffed them in the leg pocket of my shorts while I was busy doing something with Adam or Aleksa. It was cute.)

Papa holding Liana

I don't really know where to start today. Overall, I think the day was pretty good. But, it was also a mixed bag. There were some encouraging signs as well as some discouraging things.

This morning, Adam didn't want to ask for his orange, so we didn't give it to him. Eventually (15 minutes later or so), he asked for it, and we gave it to him along with some kisses and hugs. I'm not sure what was up, but that's what happened.

Liana was one that had us most concerned before, but today, things have sort of flipped. Aleksa has been pretty much the same -- trying to do what she wants and getting upset if we don't let her, and Liana helped to keep her in line. Shelly blogged a little about that. But, tonight, Adam ran out the orphanage gate and wouldn't stop as I shouted to him. So, I ran out to him, and scolded him as I carried him back. This morning, I had taken an old battery from him, not really understanding what was going on. This afternoon, he apparently wanted it back, but I had left it in our room. Maybe that's what spawned this. On the other hand, we pulled out the little "quick point" card that people can use for communication while travelling, and he and I sat and looked at it together for several minutes. We also played with some new toys that we had brought. Things seemed good for a while, then he started wandering or running away. After the second incident, I picked him up and sat him on my lap and didn't let him get away (but he didn't try as hard as he could have). Then we had a repeat of my previous argument with Liana. "I'm your Papa, I love you." "No" "Yes I am" "No", etc. Maybe I'm not reading him just right, but the manner in which he did this makes me *suspect* that he was purposefully re-enacting what he saw between Liana and I. After that, Liana has pretty much clung to me and asked me to hold her whenever possible. I'm hoping that something similar takes place with Adam. (I'll make sure to bring his battery back tomorrow. We had to change batteries in the camera, and he saw that. Maybe that was part of the problem.) It is also interesting to note that Liana was especially good and cheerful while Adam was going through his little bit.

When we had to leave, we got in the taxi, and waved and blew kisses. Aleksa and Liana were both grinning, but I'm not sure what Adama was doing because his head wasn't turned toward us. It seemed that the evening ended well enough between us, but I will be much happier if he is excited to see us when we come tomorrow.

Again, I think that some of our adventures are becoming less adoption-only adventures and more like traditional parent-child adventures. If the last few days are enough time to establish a precedent, this little incident with Adam will end up being a good thing. We keep praying that this will be the case. Thank you for your prayers!

I also can't help but thinking of this verse every couple of days, particularly when I'm in either a very positive or a somewhat distraught mood: Psalm 127:3a and 5a, "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord ... How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;" While it seems that this is normally considered a comment on the value of children, it also gives me a little encouragement like a promise. Since children are a treasure, and we do plan to raise them to glorify God, we can fully expect that whatever problems arise will be handled and that the children will turn out to be wonderful in God's sight and our own.

Adam and Papa

Today was a good day. Lots of interesting little things happened. But the start of the day was less than pleasing. We got there early (10:15), because of our trip to the toy store, and our children were in a room watching some skits until 11:00. Then, they went to their group room and ate before coming out. I poked my head into each of those rooms, and one of our children saw me each time, but they didn't come. At first, that struck me as not so good, but then I thought a little harder and decided it was good, since it shows that they definitely understand obedience when they know what they should be doing and when. (Or it could mean that they like skits and food better than Mama and Papa, but it's too early to care about that, yet.)

This morning, Shelly and I took off early in order to pick up some toys for the kids. (A little boredom during this bonding period didn't sound like the best idea, and at least Adam had shown signs of some boredom.) Our faithful taxi driver took us to a toy store of her choosing, knowing that we at least wanted to get a ball. We picked up a ball that closely resembles a basketball for Adam, but the printing on it makes it something else. For the two girls we got simple rubber balls. We also picked up what looked like a clear backpack with a whole bunch of stuff in it -- paddle ball, some interesting lacrosse-type catching tools and some balls, along with a frizbee, a boomerang, and two other things that work like a frizbee or boomerang. The backpack and things in it were not given to them today, since we're trying to stretch out the timing. But, we gave them the balls, and then this afternoon, we gave them two little "guns" that allow you to twist on a helicopter blade, then shoot it into the air. When we pulled those out, Adam and Liana went nuts. The loved them, even though they couldn't get quite enough twist out of them to go as high as Papa could get it. (For a change, Liana actually asked me to help her with it, too. With almost everything, she pulls away from Mama or Papa when we offer to help her with something. At first, this scared me a little, but it seems to be a normal child's desire to do things fo themselves. We can certainly deal with that, and train her not to go overboard with it.)

Adam and I kicked the ball back and forth for a while today, which was great fun. Liana accidentally shot one of the helicopter blades onto the roof of the little guard house next to the gate we were playing near. So, Papa went around to the other side, climbed up onto the fence, then through a tree, and snatched the propeller from the edge of the roof. Liana enjoyed watching that! I tried to teach Adama how to kick a ball better, but the language thing was still in the way, and he didn't seem to really want to do it differently.

Oh. Before I forget. Adam's new shoes are definitely treasured by him, but they have bands that wrap around his ankles. His previous shoes were simple slip-on sandals, so they didn't have that band. Now, he is getting a serious blister on the foot that he wounded last night. We put a bandaid on it, and he tried to ask us something. Eventually, we discovered that he wanted socks. So, on the spur of the moment, I took off my socks and gave them to him. He put it on, and it was a little baggy, but not too bad to wear. He ran around that way for the rest of the time that we were there.

Aleksa seems to have had a rough night tonight. While not tremendously different from normal, she did cry a little. The cry seemed different from the previous ones, this was more of a genuine cry, so it touched me more. I tried to take her to her group bathroom once, but it was closed. Liana had come along for the ride (yes, it is always a ride), and she started pointing to the bathroom outside. But, every time I get close to that bathroom with Aleksa, she loudly desires to go to the group bathroom. Oh well, I guess she forgot that she had to go, since I put her down and we all started doing something else.

I enjoyed getting all three of them to ask several things in English today. It was mainly things like "Two crackers please, Papa" and "Run please, Papa" (Liana's favorite request). Also, Adam and Liana are both learning to ask me to "Spin please, Papa." I think that they are also learning the word "again", but they haven't tried to say it yet. (Papa ended up quite dizzy today, but not near to barfing. This time, they wanted to be spun by me holding their hands and flinging them in circles around me. Liana just didn't want to stop, and I had to tell her that Papa was tired.)

Adam has had a little electronic something-or-other about the same size as a watch head. When you push the button, it plays, "It's a Small World After All." Well, just before our evening visit ended, he was working on it pretty hard, and I looked and saw that one of the wires had pulled loose. Uh-oh. I watche him work on it, and he figured it out enough that he could touch the wire to just the right spot and it would almost play. Cool -- smart boy! Anyway, I ended up stripping a bit of the insulation off that end, so you could hold the wire directly to the contact location, and it would play a little then. He continued to monkey with it, and then before we went home, he offered it to me, hoping that I could fix it. Both of the main wires were now disconnected. Previously, I had communicated that tape would help. Hopefully, I can get it fixed tonight. (How good of a Papa am I really? I hope this doesn't affect my grade...)

Right about when we were going to leave, my Mom called. We couldn't really hear her very well, but she could hear us. I handed the phone to Liana and Adam and Aleksa in turn. Adam and Liana both tried (and did very well) to say, "Hello, Grandma." Liana chatted up a storm, and I heard her say something about Mama and Papa. They all wanted to chat for a while, but the connection was bad, and we were supposed to be leaving.

I think I'll remember this night for a long, long, long time. When I gave Adam his good-bye hug, he grabbed on tighter than usual. I told him, "I love you" in Russian. Then, he said something that ended in "tosha", which means "too" in English. I think he told me that he loved me too!!! (OK, calm down John, you don't understand Russian well enough to know that for sure.) Then, I carried Aleksa and Liana up to their group rooms and left them there. Adam then picked up all three balls as we got in the taxi and said good-bye.

It was a good day. *sighs contentedly* (Though it did take me 45 minutes to dry off again... ;o) )

Ice cream today! It's Liana's birthday, so we brought them some ice cream bars. (They were less than $.20 a piece. I can't believe how cheap they were.) Anyway, we brought the ice cream to the children, and they absolutely loved it. Adam kept shouting the Russian word for ice cream, until we got it out for them. Then, of course, he stopped shouting so he could eat. Liana thoroughly enjoyed hers, too. Aleksa made a royal mess as she watched other things going on, and slowly lowered her ice cream bar into her dress -- in several places. At one point she dropped a chunk, and Liana tried to pick it up, which made an even bigger mess. Somehow she got some in her hair, and everyone of us was laughing as Shelly and I cleaned them up with some wet wipes. Then, after the ice cream was gone, Adam and Liana licked the wrappers clean (even the ones that Shelly and I had eaten from. They really liked it.)

During the morning visit today, Adam kept (jokingly) wrapping the unfilled balloons around his neck and pretending to choke himself. I told him no several times, then took the balloons away. He got up and slowly walked off. I had to put down Aleksa (who didn't want to be put down) and go after him. It was worrisome, and I didn't know what was coming next. However, when I got to him, he smiled as I picked him up and blubbered his belly. He certainly seems to understand the difference between good and bad behavior quite easily. It is just a matter of getting him to realize that we really mean no when we say "No." (Liana has an even harder time with that, but I have definitely noticed some improvement. She will come a little easier now than Adam will when we try to move all of us to a different spot.)

Liana almost constantly wants to be held now. I think I learned the Russian word for "run" today, but I'm not sure. Liana definitely likes it when I run with her. When I'm also holding Aleksa, she really enjoys it too. It's too bad that Adam is heavier, since I can't really hold him for very long. Instead, I put him on my shoulders. He seems ok with that, and often asks me to spin him. (He did learn to say "spin"!)

Aleksa hit Mama a two separate times today, so Shelly firmly told her "No." Aleksa didn't much like that, and ended up crying, in Shelly's lap, for many minutes. It is sort of nice to see Liana and Adam trying to give her things so she will feel better, but then Aleksa hits it away, because she's busy crying. It seems that Aleksa has had her way a little too often.

Overall, today was two good visits. They were happy to see us, and didn't get stressed when we left. Liana once said that she didn't want to go back to her group, and I told her that I didn't want her to go back either. But that was all, since she knew she had to for now.

Going back to our rooms tonight was interesting. As I walked toward the cab, I heard some laughing going on. Shelly had gotten there first, and she and Katya were laughing because I was drenched with sweat. (That is not and exageration. About 60% of my shirt was wet, and my forehead had been dripping.) I guess the kids really like me, since I must have felt slimy as I held them.

That brings me to some things I've wanted to say about Ukraine itself. We had heard lots of the scary things about coming here. Nasty bathrooms, scary drinking water, etc. While we have seen one nasty bathroom, we haven't hit any of the other scary stuff. (I rather appreciate the driving style here.) The taxi drivers are good at what they do, and they get you there in good time if they can. Rather than being a scary thing, I rather wish that we could drive this way back at home. For example, if you're going to turn left and someone else is occupying the lane and wanting to go straight, just check to see if there's enough room next to them. If there is plenty of room for the other traffic, just pull up on the left side of the other car and turn when the corner is clear. There is a certain respect as they drive that I think is extremely rare in the U.S. Several of the streets we've been on are rarely used, and so are only a little wider than one car. When two cars meet, the one with a place, will pull over. After passing, the other car takes off again. It's nice to see that kind of cooperation. I'm afraid that if something like that happened in the U.S. we'd be more likely to see a honking contest. Also, when driving in a busy walking section, the cab driver will simply honk the horn to warn the people who are in the way. As they slowly drive through the crowd, the people just move. Basically, if the car can go where the driver wants to go, it's fair game. (Not quite, but drivers sure have a lot more freedom over here.)

Also, the food here is really good. There are several things that I've never had before, and are quite yummy. However, the most impressive thing is that there are so many different kinds of things that we have. For example, they have about 20 different varieties of ketchup in the store here. They aren't different like brands, but different in the contents (something like different types of spaghetti sauce). I ordered some French Fries and ketchup at the restaurant we go to in this town, and the ketchup was awesome. I couldn't believe that any ketchup could taste that good. The stuff in the U.S. is going to seem almost disgusting when I get home.

As others have mentioned, the juice here is totally wonderful. We recently tried the banana juice, and it had a flavor that I think I will crave for the rest of my life. (I would love to know how anyone juices a banana, though...)

Anyway, for those of you preparing to come to Ukraine for an adoption, please don't be afraid of the place. Sure, you might run into some things that are uncomfortable. But, I've become quite comfortable here, and there are several things that I'd love to be able to bring back home with us. Food variety, cultural things, etc. There is a lot more to enjoy here than there is to be afraid of! (Oh, and the vanilla ice cream that we got a few days ago was the best store-bought ice cream I've ever had. It was on par with my favorite homemade ice cream! You can also put fresh peaches on it, or pour a little of the delicious juice on it. Mmmmm!!!!!)

If you hadn’t noticed, I didn’t blog yesterday. Things are improving with the children, but things seem to be much less “new” and getting closer to the everyday problems that people have with their children. While this totally pleases us, it makes it hard for me to write things that others would find interesting. I suppose that’s some defect in my personality, because certain people have told me many times that there are plenty of interesting things I could tell them. So, we’ll just see where this blog entry goes!

Adam is definitely well on his way to being an American Boy. He can understand a good chunk of what we say now, though part of that is still in Russian. Starting with Adam, then Liana, and Aleksa, we got ALL of them to say today, “Banana please, Papa.” It was very encouraging, to hear it from Liana, who had been extra shy about it. (We also get Adam and Liana to ask for the balloons in English, too.) When Aleksa asked for her banana, it was the cutest English sentence I have ever heard. It was rather jumbled, but she definitely said the words that we asked her to say! Oh, and Adam has learned the word “spin”, since he loves to have Papa spin in circles while holding him. (Papa gets slightly nauseated after the good spins!) I think he’s well on his way to learning the word, “dizzy”, too…

Liana was basically good today. She still loves to be held most of the time, so we do that. It is much easier to deal with an occasional bad action, which ends with a simple “no” or “nyet”. Oh! Not that the scratch itself was interesting, but we saw that something had made red marks on Liana’s cheeks. We tried to ask her what happened, but when Adam came and we asked him, he made a gesture of someone grabbing her cheek and pulling with fingernails. OUCH! So, we asked who did it, and Liana jokingly said that Adam did it. We all had a good short laugh about that one. It was a great bonding moment (though I think Aleksa was off chatting with the taxi driver).

Aleksa and I are definitely getting along better. She ran to me and wanted me to pick her up when we first arrived this afternoon. That was way cool. When we went to get their passport photos this morning, things just happened that I was holding her when we got into the car, so I put her on my lap. Adam was in the middle and wanted to hold her, which was just fine until the car started moving. Apparently, Aleksa is NOT comfortable with cars, yet. (I’m wondering what will happen in the plane…) Anyway, as soon as the car started moving, she grabbed at me, trying to hang on to something. So, I pulled her onto my lap, and wrapped both arms snugly around her stomach. While she wasn’t comfortable, yet, she clearly relaxed a bit. I held her the same way on the way back, and that time she was ok enough that she looked out the window to see what was going on as we drove by things. It’s a really good feeling to know that Papa can make a little child feel secure like that.

This afternoon, just before Shelly needed to put the band-aids on Adam’s feet, he and Liana were swinging on the gate that we drive through to get into the orphanage every day. One of those times, his new shoes, grabbed the ground and got trapped under the gate as it swung back. This broke one of the very thin blisters on the back of his feet (developed by his new shoes), and made a mark on the front of his foot, where the sandal lash goes around his ankle. I ran over to help, and tried to see how he was doing. He started to hop on one foot to the bench, so I picked him up and carried him over there. Then, Mama did her thing with wet wipes, kisses, and band-aids. After that, he seemed to want to put the sandal back on, which I thought wouldn’t be the best idea. It was also time for us to go, so he started hopping over to where Mama was already walking to the drop-off place. So, I grabbed him again. Then, Liana wanted up too, so I carried them to their drop off spot. We said pleasant good-byes, and headed back to our rooms.

Oh, we also called Vica this evening after we got back. (Apparently she had tried to call us last night, while we were in the computer room. I had left my phone in our room. Oops!) She said that we will find out tomorrow morning whether she can pick up our papers tomorrow night. We’re praying that she can. If certain things hadn’t worked out like they did today, the earliest we could have expected the papers was on Tuesday! AAH! Our children are getting used to us now, but the sooner we take them out of the orphanage the better. I think the passport photos today were a good sign for Adam and Liana that we really are going to take them home, rather than visit a little for a while and then leave them. But, they still wonder that in the back of their minds, I’m sure.

We also had the wierdest thing going on in our brains today. For some reason, we seriously could not figure out if it was Wednesday or Thursday. Apparently, it's Thursday. ... I think. ;o) That means it's Liana's birthday tomorrow. Hopefully we can rig up some ice cream for the three of them to enjoy.

Hi everyone. I thought it would be good if we also posted an entry about how things are going with all the paperwork.

Vica just took a trip to the children's birthplace, in a VERY fast taxi. We expected her back somewhere in the range of 11:00, but it's only 9:00! She's going to make sure she uses that driver for her other long trips. :O)

Anyway, it looks like we will know the court date within a few days. After that, it sounds like things move pretty quickly, with a trip to the birthplace to pick up their new birth certificates. Then back to Kiev for an embassy interview, WITH the kids. People could leave for the U.S. the same day that they pull the kids out of the orphanage, but we are several hours from Kiev, and need an embassy interview before we can leave. Also, flights home are not available every day of the week.

That's about all that we can really say right now, since we don't know when things will all fall together.

Thank you very much for all the supporting comments, prayers, and calls. It makes all of you even more dear to us.

Well, I guess I knew this before, but being a good papa is a lot of work. Yesterday, I made the comment to Shelly and Vica (that’s how she spells it, not Vika) that by the time we got home, the kids would think papas were for playing and mamas were for other stuff. Today, I feel completely different. Now, I’m sure they feel more like papas are for keeping children in line. This is a strange flip-flop, but it seems to all boil down to the children consciously or subconsciously trying to figure out if we really love them like we’re supposed to.

Aleksa seemed to test me in one way this morning and in a completely different way this evening. This morning, she kept running into the little garden, wanting to play in a ground-level birdbath that had at least 20 hornets flying around it. Papa kept bringing her back out and telling her not to. After 3 to 5 of these little excursions, Papa put her in his lap and wouldn’t let her down. She certainly made a fuss, but it wasn’t nearly as long as I was prepared for, which is good. This evening, it barely even seemed like a test, but I think it was. She told Mama that she had to go potty again, but took her on a wild goose chase. When Mama brought her back, Aleksa decided that it was Papa’s turn. So, expecting a wild goose chase, I listened as she chattered and pointed. I talked back, pretending that we could understand each other, and she seemed happy. She led me by the hand, straight to her bathroom! To be honest, here’s what I was thinking. “AAHHH!! I’ve never done this before!!!” But, she did her thing and came back out, while I looked for a light switch. When she came out, I helped her wash and dry her hands. They have an extra step of rinsing their hands in a little basin, which she pointed out to me quite happily. After we were done, she turned to me and held out her arms so I would pick her up! WOOHOO! It was her idea this time! When we came back out, it was time to go, so I put her down. Then, she asked me to carry her to her “groupa”. So, I walked over to where I knew it was, but she pointed down farther, taking me on a short little detour. When I realized what she was up to, I turned around and ran back with her. She laughed the whole way. It was great. When I put her down, Adam and Liana were there with big hugs ready, and seemed rather content. It was a good ending to a possibly traumatic visit. (Read on.)

Adam didn’t really want to come with us this morning, but we made him come. I think the expression was more of a “I’m bored with you guys” than a “I don’t like you”, but it still was a little scary. When we pulled out the legos, he really dove into them, so that made us feel better. (He didn’t even ask for the computer or the camera this time.) This afternoon, he came much easier, and we made sure we gave him extra hugs. While I was dealing with Liana, I made a point of sitting next to him and rubbing his back as I held Liana. Also, when he did something good, I made a point of saying that he was a good boy, and he grinned. The thing I enjoyed the most was at the start of our afternoon visit though. Shelly and I were talking about English and how we would all speak it soon. They were sort of grinning and eating. Somewhere in the conversation, I rubbed Adam’s head and told him that he was an American boy. He really seemed to enjoy that comment. Later, after Liana was near the end of her problem, she kicked at Adam. I told her to say she was sorry to Adam, and she said that he wasn’t Adam! He then confidently corrected her. I don’t know how much that factored into Liana’s improvement, but it wasn’t much after that when she started to be much better.

Liana caused us some worry this afternoon. It is clear to us that attention is a big issue, and with three children, it is very hard to provide the required amounts of attention – particularly if any of the other orphanage children come over to get what they can. One of those girls was standing there while Liana tried to open her peanuts. She had opened them a little, and was carefully trying to get them open farther. Then, they exploded. I jumped up and started grabbing as many as I could, but the other little girl had grabbed a few. After a little bit, I pushed the other girl back toward her group, and came back to see Liana having a fit with Mama. She wouldn’t eat the peanuts that had caused the problem, and she was saying things that equated to “bad mama” or “not my mama”, etc. After a while, Aleksa decided to take Mama on that walk, so I took Liana. She seemed ok with that, but it got a little worse. We thought the taxi was back already and that we had to go, which _really_ complicated things. I put her down, and thought things were sort of ok. Then realized that they weren’t when she shouted something at me, which very much sounded like she didn’t want us to come back. So I picked her up and we had a “discussion”, that went something like this. “I am your papa.” “No you’re not.” “Yes I am.” “No.” “I love you, Liana.” “No you don’t.” “Yes.” “No.” “Yes.” “No.” – etc. Meanwhile, Adam was nearby, observing things without trying to look like he was really there (or maybe not wanting to be there).

During this time, something crystallized in my mind. Based upon some stories that I have heard about me and my siblings as well as many other children, I knew that this was a sort of contest. So, I consciously thought to myself that I would not let her win, no matter how long she wanted to go. So, I calmly and repeatedly affirmed that I was her papa and that I did love her. After the argument had quieted down (without her attitude necessarily improving), Shelly and I sang a couple songs as she sat in my lap with her arms folded. I pulled her close to me then, and she didn’t resist. So, I contented myself with that for a bit. After a while, she started eating her peanuts, which really sort of made me think things were on the upward track. Then, she got up and started walking away somewhat slowly. I had been watching Adam as he kept saying, “Look, Papa” at the different things he was making. But, I didn’t know where she was headed or why, so I got up and walked up to her. When I reached her, I gently took her arm. She didn’t even try to resist, as I turned her around and brought her back to the bench area we were at. I still wasn’t completely sure things were ok, but when one of their caregivers came to work, walking through our area, Adam and Liana both ran up to her excitedly. I was afraid that Liana might follow her away from us, but she stopped several steps away from me and turned around on her own. That was when I knew that things were definitely going to be ok.

When I came back from my little trip with Aleksa, I got a big, grinning hug from Liana, and that really made the whole day much brighter. Adam was happy to hug me goodbye, too. So, we left feeling like our family had won a battle. It was good.

If this sort of blog entry can help some future adoptive (or natural) parents to deal with their children, I would be happy. But mostly, I hope to keep these notes to show our kids later when they are ready to see what we did in order to make us a family.

I have something a little different for today. Instead of a journal-like chronological exposition on the day’s activities, (I had fun waxing eloquent there!) I will write a little about each of the children instead.

ADAM (Meesha)

He is the oldest, so I suppose we can expect the fastest learning from him. On the other hand, it is generally harder to learn languages as you get older. Either way, he was the first to say a full sentence of English. During our evening visit today, Shelly understood that he wanted a balloon. She got him to say “balloon” and “please”, then gave him one. Then, he wanted another balloon. So Shelly counted to two in Russian, and then in English. Then, she told him to say “Two balloons, please, Mama”. After a little bit of coaxing, he finally tried it, and he did a great job! (Mala dyets!) We both made a big deal of it, and definitely indicated that we approved of his effort. It was great fun.

It is a little harder to read him than the other two, but he seems to be just fine with us for now. We decided to take away the Pocket PC and the digital camera for most of this evening, because he pretty much was ignoring us when we would let him play with those. BUT, he looks plenty happy (and shy like a 9-year-old-boy) every time we give him hugs and kisses. Once or twice while I’ve been holding his hand, he has sort of hugged my arm. I like that. (He even kind of petted my arm once, but I think it was because he’s not used to hairy arms (most ladies don’t have hairy arms.))

I picked him up to give him a hug during the middle of our evening visit, today. Then, I decided he should get on my back and let me run around with him. This was particularly interesting, since he didn’t know what I was doing, and we haven’t progressed to the point where I can tell him to get on my back. Sooo… I sort of shuffled, spun, and flipped him around until he was finally on my back, piggy-back style. Then, I took off running. He certainly sounded like he was enjoying it, and I could tell there was a grin on his face. I wanted to keep him up there for a while, but I got pooped after several minutes. So, I tried out some Russian, “Papa oostala.” He energetically said, “oostal”, a few different times in different sentences. At least HE’s clear on the fact that I’m a man. Obviously, I’m rather confused about it, since “oostala” is for tired girls, and “oostal” is for tired boys. (I’m pretty sure I heard Liana giggling about that one, too.)

LIANA (Vallya)

She seems the most versatile in moods, and has many interesting quirks. One of the things she clearly likes to do is to bother her brother. It was almost hilarious this morning when Adam was taking pictures. He had asked Aleksa to stand in a certain spot, so he could take her picture. While he was doing this, Liana stuck out her elbows, and humorously “tip-toed” behind Aleksa in order to “sneak” into the picture. She also did the same sort of motion tonight, when she was wandering away from us to grab something out of the garden that they have there (which we think she wasn’t supposed to be doing).

Liana thoroughly enjoys being held. Both Shelly and I have held her for 10 or more minutes at a shot before things needed to change for different reasons. I also had her on my back and ran around a few times. When I’m holding her, she likes to reach for high things, and pulls leaves off the trees when she can reach them.

I think that of the three, Liana is the most “obvious”. By that I mean that she doesn’t hide things either as much or as well as the others. Whatever good behavior she’s got sticks right out, and whatever bad behavior she’s got is right there too. I simultaneously think this is good and bad. Good, because it’s a whole lot easier to correct things when they stick out so clearly. Bad, because we can’t really do much about it for a few more weeks at the least. (Language barriers are a big headache!) The other two are either better at hiding behavior that is embarrassing or could possibly get them in trouble, or they are less able to communicate through their physical motions. *shrugs*

ALEKSA (Zeena)

If cute was the contest, she would win. Even when she’s afraid of me picking her up, or is “swatting” at us, she still manages to be cute about it. Once I’ve been able to regularly get hugs from her, we’ll have to deal with those things. She also said “Mamka” once, which is a derogatory for mama, but Liana piped up and said “Eta Nee mamka! Eta Mama!” (Which means, “She is NOT mamka. She is mama!”) That was very cool from Liana, and Aleksa hasn’t said that a second time.

She still won’t hug me when I ask, but they occasionally come. I managed to sort of hold her for a little bit this afternoon, but I think she is still afraid that I will put her on my shoulders. She kept asking me to put her down (or at least that’s what I think she was saying since she kept looking at the ground, and half-heartedly trying to get there, while saying many things with “papa” mixed in.) HOWEVER, she gives great little kisses on the cheek when we leave them.

Aleksa also does this interesting little run that is very hard to describe. Every time we walk in to get them for a visit, she sort of puts her hands flat toward the ground and holds her arms straight while running toward us. Sometimes she will turn around and run back, then come to us. I’m not sure why, but it might be that she saw Mama first, then saw me, then came back for Mama. *shrugs* That doesn’t bother me much. If they all just poured on the affection without getting to know us first, that would signal some possible problems later on. So, I fully expect that a few weeks from now, she will want to give me hugs.

Oh! She *really* likes talking to me. I keep telling her that I don’t understand what she’s saying, and that I speak English, but she keeps on going. We have a little Ukrainian booklet with a small dictionary in the back. Sometimes, she’s holding it possessively and we would have looked up something if she hadn’t been. Anyway, the cover has a picture with some geese on it. This morning, I had pointed at them and said “birds” a few times. Later on, she saw a pigeon. So, she called for “papa” and said a bunch of something or other. In the midst of the chatter, I am sure that I heard her say “bird” at least once. We asked Vika whether there was anything that she could say about a bird that would sound like “bird”, and she assured us that there wasn’t. So, Aleksa has the privilege of being the first of the three to speak any English!

I guess that’s enough for now. Talk to you later!

Aleksa teaching Papa Ukranian?
Liana and Papa