John's Blog
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Approaching normalcy?
Shelly mentioned that I hadn't blogged for a while, and she's right! Coincidentally, she tried to blog this morning, but something funny happened and she lost what she had written before it was blogged. So, she thinks it's my turn to blog about yesterday. :o)
One of two things has been happening (probably some of both): 1) The children are getting used to things and situations are calming down and approaching the sort of arrangement that Shelly and I expected when we thought of having children. and/or 2) Shelly and I are getting used to the way things are, and finding that it's pretty good most of the time.
So, what happened yesterday? Breakfast; part of a video (Adam continually asks to watch TV); a visit from Grandma, Auntie Cara, cousing Glen, as well as the new faces of cousin Jessie, her husband Chris, and their daughter Audrey. Chris and Jessie brought some clothes for the kids, and Adam got upset that there weren't any toys. He ended up sulking in his room for a while, but then we brought him out and he improved after a bit.
They mentioned a trip to Granddad's Bluff, and asked if we wanted to take the kids there, too. Shelly and I hemmed and hawed and thought about it for a while. We weren't sure what to do. Eventually, I thought that it might be good to get them excited outside of the house, so that they would be less stimulated inside the house. I'm not sure if that's a good line of reasoning, but we did go, and they enjoyed it -- without any bad behavior!
Yesterday was one of those days that looks like it will rain any second, but it doesn't. A few times, the kids asked to go outside, and we thought, "No, it's too hard to get you back inside, and we know it's going to rain soon." But, it kept not raining, so we took them outside after supper. Aleksa was cold right away, and Liana got a little chilled after a while. So, they ended up running inside for their little personal blankets. At that point, I decided it was time to go back inside (and that we're visitting a good will store today for some fall coats, since the "baby" shower isn't until Friday night). I was right, Adam and Liana didn't come in right away when I was sure that they knew what I was telling them. So, I chased them down and carried them into the house, then gave them a little scolding. It was really cool though, they were both sorry right away, without me having to figure out whether to put them in a corner. We are certainly making progress!
We ended the day by finishing up one of the videos Adam had been watching. I had to do a little computer work, but came out about 20 minutes before it was their bed time. Then, we all laid on the couch/floor and snuggled together while we watched. It was a great to a good day.
Oh! One other thing. I'm not sure what the kids are thinking exactly (particularly Liana), but they like to make lots of noise when they see Shelly and I kiss. Liana decided that she would try to kiss me on the lips, too. But, that would blur some of the relationship lines that we are trying to make clear to the children. Also, we've noticed that Liana is doing things that can easily be understood as attempts to rule the house. Letting her be equal with Mama would not be good. So, I kept turning my head and telling her, "Only Mama, not Liana." It was a fun game for a while, then she switched to telling me that she didn't love me, then she'd be normal for a while, then she'd try kissing me on the lips later. That happened 2 or 3 times, and one of the last times, Mama came and kissed me during the episode. Adam joined in by holding our heads together and sort of hugging us. It was a rather memorable and fun moment, with the kids yelling and giggling about us kissing. (BTW, it is clear that Liana's, "I don't love you" comments are about as far from the truth as possible. Once they've had time to really feel out the relationship arrangements, I doubt we'll hear that anymore. I'm also pretty sure that she has realized that such a statement won't help her, since the biggest reaction I gave her was to smile and say that I knew that she did love me.)
Anyway, that's my first blog in a while. Hope you enjoyed it!
One of two things has been happening (probably some of both): 1) The children are getting used to things and situations are calming down and approaching the sort of arrangement that Shelly and I expected when we thought of having children. and/or 2) Shelly and I are getting used to the way things are, and finding that it's pretty good most of the time.
So, what happened yesterday? Breakfast; part of a video (Adam continually asks to watch TV); a visit from Grandma, Auntie Cara, cousing Glen, as well as the new faces of cousin Jessie, her husband Chris, and their daughter Audrey. Chris and Jessie brought some clothes for the kids, and Adam got upset that there weren't any toys. He ended up sulking in his room for a while, but then we brought him out and he improved after a bit.
They mentioned a trip to Granddad's Bluff, and asked if we wanted to take the kids there, too. Shelly and I hemmed and hawed and thought about it for a while. We weren't sure what to do. Eventually, I thought that it might be good to get them excited outside of the house, so that they would be less stimulated inside the house. I'm not sure if that's a good line of reasoning, but we did go, and they enjoyed it -- without any bad behavior!
Yesterday was one of those days that looks like it will rain any second, but it doesn't. A few times, the kids asked to go outside, and we thought, "No, it's too hard to get you back inside, and we know it's going to rain soon." But, it kept not raining, so we took them outside after supper. Aleksa was cold right away, and Liana got a little chilled after a while. So, they ended up running inside for their little personal blankets. At that point, I decided it was time to go back inside (and that we're visitting a good will store today for some fall coats, since the "baby" shower isn't until Friday night). I was right, Adam and Liana didn't come in right away when I was sure that they knew what I was telling them. So, I chased them down and carried them into the house, then gave them a little scolding. It was really cool though, they were both sorry right away, without me having to figure out whether to put them in a corner. We are certainly making progress!
We ended the day by finishing up one of the videos Adam had been watching. I had to do a little computer work, but came out about 20 minutes before it was their bed time. Then, we all laid on the couch/floor and snuggled together while we watched. It was a great to a good day.
Oh! One other thing. I'm not sure what the kids are thinking exactly (particularly Liana), but they like to make lots of noise when they see Shelly and I kiss. Liana decided that she would try to kiss me on the lips, too. But, that would blur some of the relationship lines that we are trying to make clear to the children. Also, we've noticed that Liana is doing things that can easily be understood as attempts to rule the house. Letting her be equal with Mama would not be good. So, I kept turning my head and telling her, "Only Mama, not Liana." It was a fun game for a while, then she switched to telling me that she didn't love me, then she'd be normal for a while, then she'd try kissing me on the lips later. That happened 2 or 3 times, and one of the last times, Mama came and kissed me during the episode. Adam joined in by holding our heads together and sort of hugging us. It was a rather memorable and fun moment, with the kids yelling and giggling about us kissing. (BTW, it is clear that Liana's, "I don't love you" comments are about as far from the truth as possible. Once they've had time to really feel out the relationship arrangements, I doubt we'll hear that anymore. I'm also pretty sure that she has realized that such a statement won't help her, since the biggest reaction I gave her was to smile and say that I knew that she did love me.)
Anyway, that's my first blog in a while. Hope you enjoyed it!
